The Jay Graves Report

The REAL reason why Kobe it’s not gonna end well for Kobe bruh! “Road Trip”

"Did I really get in the car with these fools bruh?"

Henry Ford once said, “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” Maya Angelou gave it to us like this, “I’m grateful to intelligent people. That doesn’t mean educated. That doesn’t mean intellectual. I mean really intelligent. What black old people used to call ‘mother wit’ means intelligence that you had in your mother’s womb. That’s what you rely on. You know what’s right to do.” Then Francis Bacon, the 16th century English philosopher, stepped off in the joint and said, “Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.”

Well playas…notice that he didn’t say old basketball players! On Sunday night the LA Lakers beat the Boston Celtics and after the game Jeremy Lin was doin’ a post-game interview with a boy and Nick Young and Jordan Hill bum rushed the interview actin’ a fool like they had just beaten the No.1 seed in the NCAA Tournament and they were the 16th seed. Well, Kobe Bryant was on Jimmy Kimmel Live, saw the clip and was to say the least outraged by these fool’s behavior.

All boyz have been talkin’ about this week is how these young cats don’t get it and they would never have done that if Kobe were there etc.

Well let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Kobe Bryant is fightin’ a losin’ battle bruh! I keep tellin’ you boyz that it’s not gonna end well for that dun but nobody’s listenin’! All of you delusional Mamba fans can’t see the forest for the trees. Kobe should have retired two years ago bruh but he keeps hangin’ around.

Sure, did the duns on his team look like some complete fools? And darn right they did! And that’s the edited version. Should they have been more professional and like all of you clowns keep sayin’ “Acted like they’ve been there before.” Sure they should have but what you cats fail to realize is that they’ve never been there before!!!

Let me put it where the goats can get it bruh! Kobe Bryant has been to the mountain top 5 times and has been in the freakin’ league for darn near 20 years! He doesn’t fit in with the cats that he currently plays with. Now that’s primarily his fault bruh. Why? Because no other superstar free agent wanted to play him because he still thinks he’s the first option. That’s why he’s out there playin’ wit the Cosby Kids.

Keep in mind that when he came into the league duns like Jordan, Malone, Ewing, David Robinson, Shaq, A.I. etc. were still playin’! So his mentality is goin’ to be completely different than a dun that was 5 at the time. He can’t stop them from bein’ young and ignorant bruh! It just means that it’s time for him to get out of the ride. Even though Kobe is only 36 he’s been in the league since he was freakin’ 17! He’s an old “A” man in basketball years pimpin’.

It’s like a boy that’s 40 gettin’ mad at some college students that he voluntarily got in the ride with to make a cross country road trip with. All of a sudden they start fartin’ with the windows rolled all the way up, sprayin’ whip cream on a boy when he falls asleep and drivin’ with no hands. It’s like the dun that’s 47 that goes to the hood young folks club to hang out and they start shootin’. You can’t be mad at the fools shootin’! You gotta be mad at yourself for even bein’ there.

When Kobe decided to tell the world that he wasn’t goin’ anywhere and that he was gonna be the highest paid player in the league meanin’ that he’s still the first option in LA. He voluntarily got in the ride with these fools, walked in the club right before they started shootin’ and sat down. So if he gets caught up it’s his fault.

Here’s my diehard Kobe fan screamin’ and foamin’ at the mouth as usual. “Jay these young cats just don’t get it! They’re soft and Kobe can’t stand it! There’s nothin’ wrong with that! Tim Duncan is older than the Mamba is and he’s still winnin’ titles!”

Here’s the difference between the two you freakin’ idiot! Tim Duncan has what intelligent people call self-awareness. He understands that he’s old and plays the role of an old veteran. He told boyz not to empty the vault on him but to only pay him $10 million so that they could get the pieces around him so that they could keep winnin’! He knows that he can’t carry the team so he doesn’t try. He’s cool with other cats gettin’ the glory because he just wants to win and contribute in any way.

Kobe, on the other hand, still thinks that he can carry the load, wants to be the first option and he’s too old to do that EVERY night bruh! Why? Because he can’t play every night, he can’t shoot all night and he can’t be great night in and night out. That’s why the dun is hurt now! Why? Because he’s too old to do all of that.

Tim Duncan’s career has been extended because of self-awareness playboy! Timmy, like Popovich likes to call him, didn’t jump in the ride with a bunch of stupid college kids and get pissed halfway into the trip because he’s gotta do all of the drivin’ because they’re drunk, fartin’ and tapin’ each other’s eye lids shut.

Like I keep sayin’ bruh! It’s not gonna end well. It’s gonna be like watchin’ O.J. Simpson playin’ for the 49ers, like Muhammad Ali fightin’ Larry Holmes in 1980, like watchin’ Jordan in a Wizards uniform struggle up and down the floor and like watchin’ the fat Elvis stand in one spot on stage all night in Vegas. It’s not gonna end well.

And will all of you clowns please stop sayin’ that Nick Young, Jordan Hill and Jeremy Lin need to act like they’ve been there before. Why? Because they haven’t! They’ve only won 14 freakin’ games all year! They aren’t makin’ the playoffs and they’re only in it for the fame, bread and women. Donny Walsh once said, “There are two types of people in the NBA. Those that love the game of basketball and those that love what the game of basketball can do for them.”

Nick Young, Jeremy Lin and Jordan Hill aren’t the first clowns to love what the game of basketball can do for them. We’ve seen cats like that for years. Derrick Coleman is the first to pop into my head and he came into the league 25 years ago. Everybody isn’t in it to win a title playboy. Winnin’ to 90 percent of these cats in the league is bein’ rich.

Kobe! Get out of the ride before you get caught up in a bad situation foolin’ around with these young cats. Don’t be the old dude standin’ on your porch cursin’ at the neighborhood kids about steppin’ in your yard. It’s not a good look playa. You’re one of the greatest players to EVER play this game. It’s been real but it’s time to go. My man Jerome Walker (@J75walker on Twitter) says, “Kobe is the old cat at the club that’s mad at the DJ because he won’t play some Al Green or Marvin Gaye!” Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Bum Rushed: verb – to storm into a room or place, to interrupt
2) Let me put it where the goats can get it.: To break it all the way down for you. Goats typically eat off of the ground so I’m puttin’ it at the lowest level for your simple minded butt. And that’s the edited version.
3) Ride: noun – car
4) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get my point across to.
5) Dun: noun – the person in question, the dude, guy etc.