The Jay Graves Report

How Kobe is tryin’ to use the sympathy vote to bully his way onto the Olympic team! “Jumpin’ Beans”

(FILES) - USA's Kobe Bryant celebrates at the end of the men's basketball gold medal match Spain against The US of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games on August 24, 2008 at the Olympic basketball Arena in Beijing. Kobe Bryant says he still loves competition, but admits that his body can no longer handle the rigors of professional basketball as he announced on November 29, 2015 that this will be his final NBA season. AFP PHOTO / FILIPPO MONTEFORTEFILIPPO MONTEFORTE/AFP/Getty Images ORG XMIT: - ORIG FILE ID: 546860699

Robert Cormier, the well-known author and writer, once said, “I had my bully, and it was excruciating. Not only the bully, but the intimidation I felt.” Seth Godin, the author and speaker, gave it to us like this, “The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time. When there’s no ball, there’s no game. Bullies hate that. So they’ll either behave so they can play with you or they’ll go bully someone else.” Then Michael H. Honda, the California congressman, broke it down like a G workin’ a pimp convention in Detroit when he spit, “Everyone in America likely has a bullying story, whether as the victim, bully or as a witness.” 

Well playas…I’ve got one right now as a witness to this foolishness! Kobe Bryant is light weight bullyin’ the U.S. Olympic Team for a spot on the roster even though that dun is barely an NBA player at this point. He’s droppin’ hints to boyz that he’d LOVE to play on the 2016 Olympic Team this summer if his body holds up etc. 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That dun is literally bullyin’ boyz for a spot on that freakin’ team and on some real talk he’s a D-League player at this point at best. Stop it! You sound crazy tryin’ to defend him! He’s one of the greatest players to EVER play this game! He’s at least a Top 5 player no doubt about it! However, Father Time has already taken his powers like the Winter Warlock. That dun only has a few magic jumpin’ beans and some dried seeds left. It is what it is bruh! 

Think about it, they’ve got to drop down to the 12 best players in the league to fill that roster! Kobe’s not even one of the 12 best players in the city of Los Angeles at this point! Here’s my biggest problem with this dun. Like I told you earlier this week in the Hot Joint entitled “Olivia Pope” the “Dear Basketball” letter was merely a PR move to save his image as he’s goin’ out of the door because boyz were blastin’ him for lookin’ a hot mess this first month of the season. By finally admittin’ that he was mortal he backed boyz up off of him. In less than 24 hours the entire basketball universe was singin’ his praises and kissin’ his butt because he finally showed the game it’s respect by sayin’ that he could no longer do what we all knew that he couldn’t. Now boyz are actin’ like they don’t see the terrible games he’s puttin’ up.  

So now because boyz are lovin’ all on him because of the letter he’s tryin’ to use that sympathy and love to get on the Olympic team. HE’S NOT WORTHY OF A SPOT ON THAT ROSTER BRUH! HIS GAME IS TRASH RIGHT NOW!! Don’t let this dun bully you into thinkin’ that it’s not! 

Here’s my diehard Mamba fan that thinks that he knows some NBA history. “Man what are you talkin’ about bruh? You hatin’ on Kobe! You know that he should be on that team! Remember when they put together the ’92 Dream Team and Magic and Bird were on it? Magic wasn’t even in the league anymore and Bird’s back was a mess at that point and he was on the end of his career too.” 

First of all pimpin’, Magic wasn’t in the league anymore because he’d retired the year before due to his diagnosis with HIV. However, he was still one of the BEST players on the planet! He was still probably the best point guard in the world so they didn’t do him any favors by savin’ a spot for him. He had just won the All-Star Game MVP a few months before and he wasn’t even in the freakin’ NBA!!! Stop it! You sound crazy!! 

Larry Bird was on his way out of the league too because of his back problems not because he couldn’t still hoop! That dun could STILL pop a boyz head on nights that his back wasn’t givin’ him problems. KOBE CAN’T HOOP right now bruh! He’s an old man out there tryin’ to take some young boy’z opportunity to be on the Olympic team and that’s foul. 

He’s already stolen $78 million from the Lakers and held the franchise hostage for the past 3 years and now he wants to take some young boy’z shine. But you’re tryin’ to tell me that he ain’t a bully? I grew up in Gary, Indiana playboy! I know a bully when I see one and he’s straight up one! 

Since we’re hollerin’ about bullies let me explain to you boyz what a bully is and what a bully ain’t. A bully is a boy that tries to take something from a boy that can’t defend himself. A cat that is always helpin’ himself to what somebody else has on a daily basis because the dun that has it is scared to death of him. That’s a bully. It’s not some kid that teases another kid! That’s called bein’ a freakin’ kid! 

These boyz kill me callin’ kids bein’ kids, bullies! Kids have been talkin’ about each other since the beginnin’ of time! I know bruh! I was born with only one full arm! Boyz teased me EVERYDAY! You gotta learn how to back a boy up off of you by talkin’ about his momma, his dusty shoes and raggedy coat or simply knowin’ when to show some hands. That’s what kids do!! But there wasn’t a boy alive in the G bad enough to take my sneakers or lunch money! That’s what bullies do. They take things that don’t belong to them from people that can’t defend themselves either verbally or physically. 

That’s what Kobe is doin’ right now by tryin’ to sympathy/love vote his way onto the Olympic roster. I can name you at least 20 cats off of the top of my head that should legitimately be candidates for that roster right now that Kobe can’t even argue with. Who bruh? For kicks and giggles, LeBron, Steph, KD, Young Russ, The Beard, PG13, Blake, CP3, Melo, The Eye Brow, Uncle Drew, Dusty Braids Kawhi, Draymond, Klay, DeMarcus, LaMarcus, K. Love, John Wall, JB from the Chi and Buster Brown from Houston. 

Now if you’ve got to ask who am I talkin’ about because I didn’t use their real names then I’m not talkin’ to you and you shouldn’t be readin’ TheJayGravesReport because you don’t know the NBA or sports for that matter. I’m not about to give you the remedial course on the NBA up in this piece bruh! The only reason that I said John Wall was because there is no cool way to say John Wall and I’m not about to call that dun Optimus Dime like these corny writers are tryin’ to name him. If it doesn’t sound cool in the streets it ain’t a nickname playa. Stop me when I start lyin’! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1)  Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific. 

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!