The Jay Graves Report

Now Purdue just NEEDS to be realistic with Jeff Brohm! “C’mon Bruh!”

"Just let me come in and do my job playa!"

Walt Disney once said, “I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.” Victoria Beckham gave it to us like this, “I’m very realistic. I know my boundaries – I know what I’m good at and what I’m not good at.” Then Deepak Chopra hit a boy in the dome when he spit, “Always go with your passions. Never ask yourself if it’s realistic or not.”

Well playas…that all sounds good if you’re dreamin’ but if you’re a Purdue football fan don’t listen to Deepak because that dun ain’t talkin’ to you. On Monday the boyz up in West Lafayette announced that Western Kentucky’s Jeff Brohm would be named their new head coach. They unloaded the truck to get him too. For Purdue’s standards they dropped it like it’s hot payin’ him $20 million over a 6 year period. For you cats that can’t do the math that’s $3.3 million per year. That’s through the roof money at Purdue bruh! Now all they’ve gotta do is upgrade their facilities which are completely outdated.

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! For the past few weeks all I’ve heard from Boilermaker fans around this piece is foolish speculation on who they would hire. Duns were bringin’ up names like Les Miles, Kevin Sumlin, if Texas A&M would let him go. Even though nobody ever said that the dun was close to bein’ on the Hot Seat!!

In every conversation my response was the same. Are you drunk or are you high? Or in my Birdman voice, “Are you done or are you finish?” Les Miles!!!? Kevin Sumlin!??  Then these cat would say, “Yeah man we need to bring in a big name coach!!”

A big name coach? You’re freakin’ Purdue bruh! You’re not signin’ a big name coach to go up there! It’s Purdue!!! Now don’t get me wrong playa. Purdue is one of thee best engineering schools on the planet but it’s not a football school. So you’re goin’ to get a boy that’s on the come up.

Bruh…Purdue gettin’ Les Miles to come to West Lafayette would have been like me gettin’ Beyonce’ to stalk me after work.

I kept tellin’ boyz that they would target someone like a ole boy at Western Michigan or the dun that you just hired. That’s as good as it’s gonna get. It’s Purdue!! And on some real talk, P.J. Fleck is too big now because he’s the hottest name on the coachin’ market.

A big name is a big name for a reason bruh. He’s tryin’ to win at the same level that he used to win. He can’t win at Purdue! It’s Purdue!!! Winnin’ at Purdue is winnin’ 6 games and makin’ it to a dull bowl game. Why would Les Miles come to West Lafayette? He’s won 2 SEC titles and a national championship and he’s still in his prime. He’s tryin’ to land somewhere where he can compete at that same level he competed before.

Yes, Kevin Sumlin went to Purdue but he’s been spoiled by coachin’ at big time programs like Oklahoma and Texas A&M and he’s in the state of Texas where football is king!!!

You’ve got to be realistic bruh. Jeff Brohm is your guy because he’s still hungry and he’s lookin’ to make a name for himself at Purdue so he can move on to bigger and better jobs. He was 30-10 at Western Kentucky. That means that he knows how to win. So if he can get you to a respectable 6-6, be happy with that playa. That’s winnin’ at Purdue!!

Don’t get greedy like you did with ole Joe Tiller. I told you boyz years ago when you were tryin’ to push him out of the ride like ole Eddie Kane Jr. to relax and be realistic but you wouldn’t listen. All I heard from duns around this piece was, “I’m tired of goin’ to mid-level bowl games. I’m tired of winning only 7 or 8 ball games a year! We should be in the Rose Bowl or competin’ for a Big Ten Championship every year!!” 

That dun took you to like 9 straight bowl games and you got greedy and wanted more. It’s freakin’ Purdue bruh! Stop it! You sound crazy!! The best you’re gonna do at Purdue is win 7 or 8 games and that’s when you’re ROLLIN’! You’re goin’ to win the Big Ten every 30 years or so when you hit the quarterback lottery!! C’mon bruh! Stop it!! You won the joint in 1966 with a cat named Bob Griese who became all everything and was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Then you hit the jackpot with a kid that was 6’0 tall that NOBODY in Texas or the south wanted and he turned out to be a MONSTER that’s on his way to the Hall of Fame too. For y’all that’s checkin’ I’m talkin’ about Drew Brees!!!

So in another 10 years or so you’ll hit another lick and make it to Pasadena. But in the meantime and in between time let’s be realistic!!! Jeff Brohm has the ability to be as good as Joe Tiller but you’ve gotta be patient and don’t get greedy when you start winnin’ a few games like IU just did.

They ran Kevin Wilson out of town after goin’ 6-6 and reachin’ back to back bowl games for the first time since 1990-91 because of what Fred Glass called “philosophical differences.” Now they are about to be catfish all over again. For y’all that don’t know, catfish are bottom feeders.

Boilermaker fans I need you to be realistic and don’t make the same mistake that IU just made or the same mistake you made with Joe Tiller a few years ago. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!