The Jay Graves Report

Andrew Luck had the confidence of Dolemite in Jets rout! “Mo Better”

"Keep bangin' playboy! We got you!"

Helen Keller once said, “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Norman Vincent Peale, the author of the “Power of Positive Thinking,” gave it to us like this, “Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” Then Blake Lively, the famous actress, broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention when she spit, “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.”

Well playas…Andrew Luck rolled into Metlife Stadium on Monday Night like a Spike Lee Joint wearin’ his confidence on his sleeve like Dolemite. He and the Indianapolis Colts jumped all over the New York Jets like they stole Big Momma’s patent leather shoes and her purse full of peppermints on a Sunday mornin’ in church 41-10 and went to the crib.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Boyz were concerned about Luck comin’ out of the concussion protocol and missin’ the Thanksgiving beat down they took from Pittsburgh. The offensive line has been a complete mess all year for not bein’ able to protect him. So would he get sacked 146 times like he usually does or will they finally protect the $140 million luxury whip in the middle of the projects?

Andrew Luck came glidin’ in like Bleek from “Mo Better Blues” and was only sacked one time as he destroyed the Jets goin’ 22 of 28 for 278 yards, 4 TD’s, served the food in the concession stand and painted the darn numbers on the field. Ole boy was so confident that he could have jumped on stage with Jay-Z, spit 16 bars, been a back up dancer, rocked on the One’s and Two’s and kissed Beyonce’ in the mouth in front of Jay like what!!

Dwayne Allen was out there butt naked in pimp socks and church shoes he was so wide open in the first half it was ridiculous. Luck was able to hit him three times for touchdowns before the break bruh!

With this win the Colts improve to 6-6 and tied for first place in the dull AFC South with Houston and Tennessee.

Like I keep tellin’ you boyz, if you protect Andrew Luck you can win games and he’s a completely different quarterback when he’s standin’ up right. As long as he’s not runnin’ for his darn life he’s great. Would you be comfortable if you had already torn up a shoulder, broken your ribs, ruptured a spleen, suffered multiple concussions and they kept puttin’ you back in the same car on the same street with the same dull driver? Protect the man and the Colts will be fine. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Spike Lee Joint: movies directed by Spike Lee where the main character from time to time roll into a scene without walking. He’s pulled on a cart if you will.

3) Dolemite: noun – an old pimp movie from 1975 where boyz are spittin’ game.

4) Whip: noun – vehicle

5) Bleek: noun main character played by Denzel Washington in the Spike Lee Joint “Mo Better Blues.”

6) Dull: adjective – to describe something as bein’ terrible, something that makes you sick with disgust because it’s so stupid to even think of.

7) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!