The Jay Graves Report

Why Purdue football fans need to learn how NOT to get greedy goin’ forward! “Deuces”

Dec 27, 2011; Detroit, MI, USA; Purdue Boilermakers helmet sits on the ground prior to the 2011 Little Caesars Bowl against the Western Michigan Broncos at Ford Field. Mandatory Credit: Andrew Weber-US PRESSWIRE

Marilou Henner, the actress, producer and radio host, once said, “Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life. Walt Disney gave it to us like this, “I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.” Then Terri Garr, the actress and singer, put it where the goats can get it when she spit, “You have to find out what’s right for you, so it’s trial and error. You are going to be alright if you accept realistic goals for yourself.”

Well playas…I’ve been tryin’ to tell Purdue football fans that for years! You’ll be alright if you just accept realistic goals for your team. However, all I keep runnin’ into out here in the great state of Indiana are Purdue football fans singin’ the blues about their team not livin’ up to their expectations. Everybody and their baby’s momma’ momma, Ms. Jackson, is upset that the program is in shambles and that boyz are gettin’ the dog snot beat out of them weekly. Now that current head coach Darrell Hazell is on the hot seat and literally on the verge of standin’ outside bangin’ on the door like Fred Flinstone. Purdue fans are screamin’ about what needs to happen with the next head coach to turn the joint around.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I told you boyz years ago when you were tryin’ to push Joe Tiller out of the ride like ole Eddie Kane Jr. to relax and be realistic but you wouldn’t listen. All I heard from duns around this piece was, “I’m tired of goin’ to mid-level bowl games. I’m tired of winning only 7 or 8 ball games a year! We should be in the Rose Bowl or competin’ for a Big Ten Championship every year!!” 

That dun took you to like 9 straight bowl games and you got greedy and wanted more. It’s freakin’ Purdue bruh! Stop it! You sound crazy!! The best you’re gonna do at Purdue is win 7 or 8 games and that’s when you’re ROLLIN’! You’re goin’ to win the Big Ten every 30 years or so when you hit the quarterback lottery!! C’mon bruh! Stop it!! You won the joint in 1966 with a dun named Bob Griese who became all everything and was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Then you hit the jackpot with a dun that was 6’0 tall that NOBODY in Texas or the south wanted and he turned out to be a MONSTER that’s on his way to the Hall of Fame too. For y’all that’s checkin’ I’m talkin’ about Drew Brees!!!

So in another 10 years or so you’ll hit another lick and make it to Pasadena. But in the meantime and in between time let’s be realistic!!!

In order to win at the level that you think that you should win at you’ve gotta have horses! You don’t and won’t get a roster full of them because you have to be able to recruit them. Well playa, Michigan and Ohio State will ALWAYS kill you in that department. Why? Because they’ve got the tradition, the facilities and the championships.

This isn’t the NFL bruh, where once you win the title you have to pick last. When you win the national or conference title you get the pick of the litter EVERY year. So schools like that are goin’ to ALWAYS have better players than you.

Sure, you’re goin’ grab a few 5-star cats every now and then and even get a few boyz drafted. But you can’t compete against a roster full of them. If over a 5 year period you’ve got three 4 or 5-star cats and Michigan and Ohio State has 60. You’re gettin’ drug every year.

You’re not out recruitin’ Michigan State, Wisconsin, Iowa, Nebraska because they consistently win more than you do. You’re not even out recruitin’ Indiana because now they’ve got better facilities than you. Have you looked at the facilities in West Lafayette lately bruh relative to what the rest of the country has? They haven’t changed in more than 26 years!! The Mollenkopf Center was built in 1990!!! Boyz upgrade football facilities around the country every 4 or 5 years. You’re losin’ some recruitin’ battles that you don’t have to lose. So more than likely you’re losin’ all or 90 percent of the games verses the aformentioned schools and throw a couple more in for luck.

No way should Indiana be out recruitin’ you because their program and fan base is just as unrealistic as yours. They ran Bill Mallory out of town for doin’ the same thing Joe Tiller was doin’. Winning 7 or 8 games a year consistently in the late ’80’s and early ’90’s and goin’ to bowl games every year. They got greedy, thought that they could do better and now their lookin’ silly too.

But at least they aren’t as bad as the Boilermakers because they keep upgradin’ the facilities which helps in recruitin’ players.

So the next time a boy shows up in West Lafayette and starts winnin’ 7 or 8 games a year, leave him alone!! He’s your Bo Schembechler, Woody Hayes, Tom Osborn or Barry Switzer bruh! Get out of the way and let that dun coach until he dies on the field.

And yes I even walked on in the spring of 1987 under Fred Akers to play running back at a mere 5’7″ 145 lbs. and after gettin’ my head beat in it didn’t take long for me to realize that I was in WAAAAY over my head and I’m NOT about to waste my time out here bruh! I was like, “I’m cool on that bruh!” Now I was thinkin’ about transferrin’ anyway but that made it easier. What am I sayin’, I was realistic enough to know that it wasn’t gonna end well. So I Chris Brown’d those boyz,  gave them the “Deuces,” transferred to Indiana and kept it movin’ with school ONLY! At some point you gotta set some realistic goals bruh and Purdue bein’ a football powerhouse or even competin’ for a Big Ten championship EVERY year ain’t one of them.  Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) Ms. Jackson: noun – song by the rap group OutKast

1 Comment

  1. This conveys a defeatist mentality and accepting mediocrity. Right or wrong, this is not in a Boilermakers DNA.

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