The Jay Graves Report

Why cats that called LeBron soft obviously didn’t have any women growin’ up! “Scrubs”

"That's right Jay! Take care of these fools while I handle this!"

I was hangin’ out at the Alamo with some REAL cats when we overheard these three duns arguin’ over the concept of jealousy. B. C. Forbes, the founder of Forbes Magazine, said, “Jealousy…is a mental cancer.” Johann Kaspar Lavater, the Swiss poet, said it this way without even takin’ his square out of his mouth, “The jealous are possessed by a mad devil and a dull spirit at the same time.” Then Jean Baudrillard, the French sociologist, broke it down for all the homies like this, “A negative judgment gives you more satisfaction than praise, provided it smacks of jealousy.”

Well…jealousy has been smackin’ boyz in the face ever since LeBron James went down with cramps durin’ Game 1 of the Finals. Why? Because boyz have been talkin’ crazy about him and questionin’ his toughness. For the past twenty four hours on every radio show in America and even some duns in the barber shops have been pilin’ on this cat for not bein’ able to play through those cramps.

Cats are camparin’ him to Jordan playin’ with the flu and Kobe walkin’ off of the floor after tearin’ the Achilles etc. “If they can do it LeBron should have been able to play through it too.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That fact that a boy would let those words roll off of his tongue tells me one thing playboy! That he was the scrub growin’ up that never played an ounce of competitive sports in his freakin’ life! And that’s the edited version!

It’s impossible to play through a cramp you idiot! A cramp is essentially a muscle spasm. The muscle simply contracts and locks up so you can’t use the limb that the muscle is attached to until it relaxes. If you’re weren’t a scrub all of your life and played ball you would know that. Even if you’ve spent more than two weeks watchin’ sports you’d know that.

So while you’ve got your freakin’ mouth open you’re only tellin’ boyz how soft you really are. Because if a dun has never played sports at any level in his life that tells me all I really need to know about a boy.

If you couldn’t play little league or in high school in any sport that tells me that you didn’t have any women either and that’s a whole “nother” talk show playboy. Why? Because women love money and power don’t ever forget that homie. I don’t care how much money they have, they want a boy with some bread too! When we were kids nobody had money so you got women because of your popularity. That was the power! So unless you were some El Debarg lookin’ type cat growin’ up you didn’t have any women. Well let me say this…any FINE women! Why? Because all the ball playas had ’em playboy and they were all crampin’ up at one point or another.

So while you’re callin’ into radio shows to show your ignorance, you’re really tellin’ all of the real G’s out here that I was the scrub that couldn’t get any women until I pledged in college or got a job. I’m preachin’ playa but y’all ain’t listenin’! But you can pass the collection plate anyway.

Like I tried to explain to you clowns yesterday in the Hot Joint entitled “Here We Go” that LeBron is one of the rare athletes that has only five percent body fat. Most cats hover around seven to ten percent. So he’s always more susceptible to crampin’ than most cats. If you’ve paid attention to the game of basketball for more than 10 days you’d already know that this dun cramps. Why? Because of what I just said you idiot! Pay attention!  Isn’t he the same cat that was laid out with cramps durin’ the Finals when they ran OKC out of the gym in 5? I’m just sayin’!

Heat and dehydration causes boyz to cramp. So if the freakin’ air conditionin’ wasn’t workin’ then he was hot and sweatin’. Therefore, people that sweat profusely are gonna dehydrate and be more at risk of doin’ what? Crampin’! If a dun has only five percent body fat he’s gonna be at even more risk of doin’ what? Crampin’!

But you’re dumpy no athletic havin’ butt is tryin’ to tell a boy what he should be able to do. When you’re sittin’ up here carrying 25 to 30 percent body fat like a stripper at Magic City!

Turn on the NFL or college football in late August/early September and watch the constant delays in the games by boyz havin’ to carry some cat off of the field with cramps because it’s too freakin’ hot! Now if football players that are more accustomed to playin’ with pain than in any other sport are laid out waitin’ for a boy to carry them off of the field then why would you expect LeBron to just keep playin’? Because you’re a hater that needs a woman!

If you cramp you can’t move! If you can’t move you can’t play! There is a difference between playin’ with the flu and not bein’ able to move you idiot. There is a difference between standin’ up and leanin’ on the good leg and shootin’ free throws and not physically bein’ able to move.

So before you run out and start repeatin’ what some media type cat that has never played an ounce of competitive sports in his freakin’ life said on a radio show. Holla at some REAL cats that had some women growin’ up and they’ll tell you to shut up with that foolishness because you’re listenin’ to a dun that married the first girl that let him hang out. And that’s the edited version playboy! Stop me when I start lyin’!