The Jay Graves Report

Why Boyz better hide their jewelry when Bama pulls up! “DeBo”

" We can do this all day playa!!"

Soren Kierkegaard, the 19th century Danish philosopher, once said, “Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.” JamesAllen, the 19th century British author, gave it to us like this, “You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as you dominant aspiration.” ThenEarl Nightingale broke it down like a G at a homies convention when he spit, “The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.”

Well playas…the scoreboard always moves in the direction of the most dominant team!! On Saturday night at Jerry’s World, AT&T Stadium, Alabama showed up with a truck load of swagger that actually had real bullets. If you didn’t know any better you would have thought that USC had a truck load of the same swag 10 minutes before kickoff. Boyz were talkin’ $100 worth of noise and bringin’ that west coast chatter, etc. Then they kicked off! Bama beat the brakes off of these boyz 52-6 in a southern drawl!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! While Bama was havin’ their way with these boyz I noticed one thing in particular. They were sayin’ what they ALWAYS say!!! ROLL TIDE!!!! Not SEC, SEC, SEC!!! Why? Because they aren’t ridin’ off of the success of any one but themselves! What blows my mind about duns other than Bama in the SEC is that it’s always the cats that ain’t winnin’ that are hollerin’ SEC!! Duns like Kentucky, Vandy, Ole Miss, Miss St., Tenn, Georgia, Mizzou, Texas A&M, South Carolina etc. etc., .etc. Bama is Bama and Bama is not playin’ with these boyz out here in these streets!

Alabama is the freakin’ SEC playboy! Consistent and Dominant! Just call them DeBo!! Hide your jewelry when they show up. There are a few things in this world that you can count on bruh! That’s the sun risin’ in the east and settin’ in the west, Uncle Sam wantin’ his bread, gold diggers demandin’ payment and Alabama bein’ damn good EVERY year!!  Naw playa, they’re hollerin’ ROLL TIDE all day long and believe the hype! The bullets are workin’!

Even though they lost crazy talent on defense they didn’t miss a beat. Think about it bruh, they lost 4 cats to the NFL draft on that defense in the first 2 rounds!!! Then they lost Derrick Henry at runnin’ back, who won the Heisman last year. They had no quarterback as well. So a freakin’ true freshman, Jalen Hurts, walked out there and put a hurtin’ on the Trojans like they had stolen his momma’s cement frogs out of her front yard. Why do momma’s love those stupid frogs so much bruh?

This cat was a high school football player this time last year and now he’s at the most dominant super power program since the Bud Wilkerson Oklahoma Sooners of the 1950’s that won like 57 games in a row. Well take that back playa. We’ve never seen a program this dominant in the history of college football under Saban.

Game 1 of his career pressure? No pressure playboy! He went 6 of 11 for 118 yards and 2 touchdowns and then he ran for another 2 bruh and that was after splittin’ time with Blake Burnett. I’d say that the freshman will be at the helm all by himself next week pimpin’! You can’t share that type of talent. Get out of the way and let that dun go.

All I’ve got to say is, put that trophy in a box and ship it to little Miss Johnson’s house that lives down the street from Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa. She’ll make sure they get it January. Don’t worry about holdin’ on to it. You can put those people on other assignments for the rest of the season. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) DeBo: noun – character in the movie Friday’s that was the neighborhood bully. Every time he rode up on his bike that he stole from some kid he’d take a boy’z jewelry off of them.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!