The Jay Graves Report

The REAL reason you’re watchin’ the G.O.A.T. RIGHT NOW BRUH! “Bentleys & 300”

"Y'all better start listenin' to Jay Graves bruh!"

William Shakespeare once said, “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” Lucius Annaeus Seneca, the ancient Roman philosopher, gave it to us like this, “It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.” Then the big homie, Bob Marley, broke it down like a playa at a pimp convention rockin’ some Detroit gators when he spit, “The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” 

Well playas…LeBron James has proven that he has the ability to affect those around him positively because the ENTIRE state of Ohio has been revitalized by an NBA Championship comin’ home to Northeast Ohio and more specifically CLEVELAND!! This dun put all of these boyz on his back and pulled off the IMPOSSIBLE! He brought the Cavs back from a 3-1 deficit in the FINALS against the BEST statistical TEAM in NBA history with the BEST shooter of All-Time and beat them at the crib 93-89! 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Like I’ve been tellin’ you boyz for the past 6 years and more than 82 Hot Joints later on this very subject, LeBron James is the GREATEST All-AROUND BASKETBALL PLAYER WE’VE EVER SEEN. Stop it! You sound crazy tryin’ to debate it. Why? Because the numbers don’t lie! The eye ball test doesn’t lie and the facts slap you in the back of the head like Big Momma in the grocery store. 

All year long these fake media-types have been tryin’ to discount this cat by lyin’ to you by sayin’ that Steph Curry was the best player in the league and you believed them. He proved last year in the Finals that he wasn’t the best player in the league because he disappeared. Golden State won the title because he was on the BEST TEAM. Then he showed up this year and completely disappeared again. 

Ima put it where the goats can get it bruh! You always hear duns in the hood hypin’ a boy up by tellin’ him that his Chrysler 300 looks like a Bentley and he believes that foolishness until a Bentley actually pulls up. Well playboy, a Bentley pulled up on Steph and he saw his reflection in the right quarter panel. Self reflection is a beast.  

And for all of you LeBron hater/Jordan lovers that have been in the emergency room with the uncontrollable bubble guts since the final buzzer went off. I know that it was hard to watch that dun hoist the Larry O’Brien trophy but let me take you to school real quick. You are watchin’ the G.O.A.T.  right now bruh! What this cat is doin’ has never been done before. I know that you’ve been watchin’ highlights where Jordan hasn’t missed a shot in 20 years but that’s why they’re called highlight bruh. They only show the best plays and he doesn’t miss in the highlights. I know you’ve got the old school DVD on watchin’ Space Jam and you’re even rockin’ a fresh pair of J’s.   

Don’t let the Brand lie to you and please stop listenin’ to these fake media-types lie to you because they’re afraid to make the Institution mad. Well playa, I care nothin’ about interviewin  Mike or bein’ his friend. My loyalty is to the reader and givin’ them the truth. So here it is playa. 

If you wanna know who the greatest player is just look at the facts. At 16 Mike was cut from his high school team! LeBron was on the cover of Sports Illustrated labeled as “The Chosen One!” At 18 Mike was the third option on his COLLEGE team! LeBron was the No.1 pick overall in the NBA draft and was named the Rookie of the Year. At 22 Mike’s Bulls were gettin’ tossed in the 1st round of the NBA Playoffs. LeBron took some bums to the Finals and got swept by one of the greatest teams in NBA history, the San Antonio Spurs. Key word here is FINALS at 22 years old bruh.

Stay with me pimpin’ because it gets real! At 27 Mike was still tryin’ to get to a Finals! Lebron had already won a championship and been to three. At 31 Mike had been to the Finals 3 times and won 3 playin’ on the best TEAM in the league. He’d won 3 Finals MVP’s and 3 league MVP’s. Impressive right? Well playa, at the same age LeBron has been to 7 Finals with two different teams with 6 in a row and won 3! He has the same amount of Finals MVP’s and he’s got one more league MVP. AT THE SAME AGE BRUH! 

Here’s my diehard Jordan fan that can’t think straight this mornin’ because he’s been on the toilet since midnight. “Mike went 6-0 in the Finals!” You know that’s their only come back and it makes no sense. Mike was 36 years old before he went 6-0 in the Finals bruh. And he should have gone 6-0 because he was ALWAYS on the BEST team when he got there. However, at 31 Mike had only been to 3 so stop soundin’ like a fool because you’ve run out of excuses to discount this Philistine. And unless he runs into a boy that’s handy with a sling shot he’s not goin’ down any time soon. 

Here’s where it really goes off of the rails my dude. LeBron is not only carryin’ his teams but he’s doin’ EVERYTHING. Mike didn’t have to do everything because he was always on a complete team when he showed up. Let’s even include the 6 championship teams for the sake of argument. 

He was SUPPOSED to go 6-0 because he was ALWAYS on the BEST TEAM when he showed up and they were ALWAYS healthy. He ALWAYS had a dead eye shooter in either, B.J. Armstrong, Craig Hodges, John Paxson or Steve Kerr. So when he needed one or two shots knocked down it got handled. He ALWAYS had the best wing man in the game in Scottie. He had duns like Horace Grant who was a MONSTER and then when he left he had the BEST REBOUNDER in the league in Dennis Rodman. Then to top all of that foolishness off he ALWAYS had the BEST COACH to EVER walk the sideline. AND he was the BEST PLAYER in the league! He was SUPPOSED to go 6-0 in the Finals you idiot! 

LeBron is doin’ work with a tenth of the talent Mike had to work with. Let’s take what this fool just did in this Finals alone and we can stop talkin’ about it because the more I give you facts the angrier you get. LeBron just beat the best Statistical TEAM in NBA history 4-3 after bein’ down 3-1 which had NEVER been done in the HISTORY of the league. Not only did he led his team to victory, he led them in EVERY statistical category. Excuse me, I’m sorry, he led both teams and he’s ranked No.1 in those categories in NBA FINALS HISTORY! He put up 208 points, grabbed 79 rebounds, threw 62 assists, had 16 blocks and 18 steals on the lesser TEAM!!! Mike wasn’t capable of doin’ that bruh even if he wanted to. Oh he wanted to because he had the killer instinct. He just couldn’t because he didn’t have he DNA to pull it off. Not at 6’6″ 210lbs. 

Did I forget to mention that LeBron pulled off only the third triple double in a “Po Pimp” Do or Die situation in NBA Finals history? This dun had 27 points, 11 rebounds and 11 assists on the road in a Game 7 hostile environment. The only other cats to do that was Jerry West in ’68 and Magic in ’88! Mike ain’t on that list playa just in case you were lookin’ for him.  

LeBron’s already got more playoffs wins than Mike with as many champions, far more points, rebounds and assists at the same age and he’s got 4 or 5 more good years left in him. So y’all can keep tellin’ boyz that the300 looks like a Bentley if you want to but the Bentley just pulled up. Self reflection is a beast my dude! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Oh and fa da cats that don’t read here’s the podcast: “The REAL Playa Podcast”

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Detroit Gators: noun – alligator shoes commonly worn in Detroit 

2) Spit: verb – to say

3) Crib: noun – home 

4) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.  

5) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to simplify it to the easiest level. To make it elementary. To put it at the lowest level so you can reach it.