The Jay Graves Report

The REAL reason Jordan “SHOULD” have gone 6-0 in the Finals! “The Edited Version”

"Ima keep lettin' these fools believe I did it all by myself bruh!"

Daniel J. Boorstin, the American historian, once said, “The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance – it is the illusion of knowledge.” Philip Guston, the well-known painter, gave it to us like this, “Painting is an illusion, a piece of magic, so what you see is not what you see.” Then the big homie, John Steinbeck, the famous author, shut the buildin’ down with, “The writer must believe that what he is doing is the most important thing in the world. And he must hold to this illusion even when he knows it is not true.”

Well playas…most sports writers continue to hold to the illusion that Michael Jeffery Jordan won six NBA titles all by himself. Every time you hear one of these duns talkin’ about Jordan they throw up the only stat they can rattle off, “He was 6-0 in the Finals. Therefore, every idiot in the barber shop or pool hall goes right there when we’re debatin’ the greatness of LeBron. Was Jordan 6-0 in the Finals? You darn right he was!!! But he SHOULD have been 6-0 in the Finals you idiot!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! First of all, the dun wasn’t runnin’ the 100 meters playboy! He wasn’t out there all by his lonesome. He was on the best TEAM in the league every time he showed up to the Finals! Mike was the BEST player on planet Earth at the time and he was bein’ coached by the BEST coach to EVER coach the game of basketball at any level in history. Let’s get those two off of the top real quick.

Then the dun showed up with the BEST three point shooter in the history of the league in Steve Kerr for 4 of them! Ole boy has the best shootin’ percentage of all-time at 45 percent. That’s a percentage point better than Steph Curry has RIGHT NOW. He also had the BEST wing man in the game at the time and the BEST defender in the game at the time in Scottie Pippen.

Oh, I’m not finished with this foolishness yet pimpin’! So not only did Jordan have the BEST player (himself), the best coach, the best 3-point shooter and the best wingman and defender, he went out on the second stint of championships and got the best rebounder in the game in Dennis Rodman (22nd All-time but arguably the best playin’ at that moment) Are you kiddin’ me? He SHOULD have gone 6-0 in the Finals! And I didn’t even mention cats like Craig Hodges who kicked off the title run with him, who was the one of the best 3-pointer shooters in the game at the time.

Boy keep throwin’ up 6-0 not even realizin’ what Jordan had at his disposal when they were plowin’ through the NBA. The freakin’ team was stacked! LeBron with the exception of playin’ in Miami for those 4 years hasn’t shown up with a team like that. Those Miami teams couldn’t stack up to what Jordan had. LeBron never had the best coach, best defender or the best rebounder. He did have the best 3-point shooter in Ray Allen but the dun could only play limited minutes until boyz got hurt because he was on the back end of his career. Throw Mike Miller and James Jones in there too. LeBron clearly didn’t have the best team or coach showin’ up when San Antonio beat him twice in the Finals. Stop it! You sound crazy!

Let me put it where the goats can get it playa! In order for LeBron to show up like Jordan did at the Finals every year. He would have to have Greg Popovich coachin’! Best coach right? Steph Curry shootin’ three’s! Best 3-point shooter right? Dwight Howard reboundin’! Best rebounder right? And freakin’ Kawhi Leonard lockin’ boyz down! Best defender right? It would be like havin’ all of these cats for all or most of the time he showed up to the Finals. Impossible!!!!

When you put it all down on paper it sounds ignorant to even suggest! But this is what Jordan had when he showed up to the Finals bruh! LeBron or no other player ever showed up with TEAMS like that. Even the great Tim Duncan and Pop never showed up with that type of squad! Stop it! You sound crazy! Not even Bill Russell showed up with a team that good and he won 11 championships with the Celtics! You sound crazy!!!!!

The year before Jordan retired the first time after the Bulls won their 3rd title they won 57 regular season games. The year after he left they won 55 and pushed the Knicks to a Game 7 in the Eastern Conference semifinals!!! That’s how good the Bulls were bruh! When LeBron left Cleveland they became a lottery team. when he left Miami they didn’t even make the playoffs. Again, you sound crazy tellin’ boy about much more of an impact Jordan had than LeBron in their respective teams! You sound like you’re butt naked foamin’ at the mouth!

And dig this here! Boyz always wanna talk about Jordan scorin’ more points than everybody else and especially LeBron. But what they don’t understand is that LeBron’s game isn’t predicated upon scorin’ first, Jordan’s game was. Let’s take the ’92-’93 season as an example. This dun led the league in points per game at 32.6. But what cats don’t realize is that he took 2003 shots which was 400 more than the 2nd most attempts from Hakeem Olajuwon. He missed 1011 shots which is more than 200 more than the 2nd most from Dominique. If he was shootin’ the rock all night and he’s got the best TEAM and coach around him, he should be killin’ these boyz.

So the next time some fool at the barber shop pulls the 6-0 out of their anus on you, and oh yeah bruh, that’s the edited version! Pull this joint out and show it to him. That’s if he’s even willin’ to read it because what I’ve learned about Jordan fans is that they won’t read or look at anything that undermines the myth that is Michael Jordan. He’s 100 on the highlights and that’s all they wanna see. In their minds Jordan never lost a game or missed a shot. Was he great? You darn right he was! Was he 6-0 in the Finals? You darn right he was! Did he win all of those joints alone! You super darn right he didn’t! But let a Jordan fan, sittin’ there with every pair of Jordan’s ever made, some Hanes Underwear with the tag-less joint on after watchin’ Space Jam for the 400th time tell it, he never lost in the Finals because he single handedly beat everybody in the Finals! And that’s the edited version! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc.
2) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get me point across to.
3) Let me put it where the goats can get it: to break it down to its simplest form. I can’t make this any easier for you. To put it on the ground so that the goats can finally eat. 
4) The Edited Version: When I say that I’m tryin’ not to curse these duns out that just won’t look at the truth for what it is bruh! The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!