TORONTO — The Toronto Raptors did what they always do in the playoffs bruh. They wet the freakin’ bed so bad that Big Momma can’t even turn the mattress over. They were the No.1 seed in the East with home court advantage and tricked it off in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semi-Finals 113-112 against a team that had only 24 hours to prepare to play them.
The Cavs were comin’ off of playin’ a gruelin’ seven game series with the Pacers where LeBron told the world durin’ the post-Game 7 interview that he was “spent” and was ready to go home. Toronto hadn’t played since Friday and literally soiled the mattress.
Well playas…is it too early to call this series? I tweeted out on Tuesday afternoon that Game 1 SHOULD be a complete blow out and that the Cavs should be wavin’ the white flag by the 8 minute mark of the fourth quarter.It should be so bad that Big Momma should be ready to fight to get a boy off of her baby. I said if the Cavs win Game 1 the series is over.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If the Raptors couldn’t beat an exhausted LeBron they sure as heck can’t beat the dun once he gets his legs underneath him. This was their opportunity to take advantage of him and they didn’t. That Philistine was sluggish and they swung and miss.
So what did he do on a freakin’ day’s rest? Put up a darn triple double. Ole boy finished with 26 points, 13 assists and 11 rebounds. JR Smith finally came to work and dropped off 20. Jeff Green added 16 out of the bushes as Tristan Thompson put up a solid double-double with 14 points and 12 rebounds out of the bushes as well.
Really Toronto? You’ve been sittin’ since Friday and you let these duns run into your driveway in front of Big Momma and June Bug nem and take your sneakers, jewelry and brand new Polo shirt off of you? Really bruh? That’s all you’ve got? That’s a darn shame and that’s the edited version.
The Cavs should have been beaten like they stole somethin’ out of O.G. Bobby Johnson’s house and you let them off of the hook. Even though you’re technically the better team, you can kiss this series good-bye because you’ve got no heart. It’s the same ole Toronto Raptors we’ve grown accustomed to seein’ in the playoffs. We used to call duns like that push-overs where I’m from. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
3) Out of the bushes: verb phrase – to come off of the bench
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”