On Sunday night the Cleveland Cavaliers pulled up at the TD Garden Boston in to play the Celtics in a “Po Pimp Do or Die” situation. It was Game 7 and the biggest sportin’ event in the country outside of the Indianapolis 500 in which I covered earlier in the day. After the race was over everybody and their baby’s momma tuned into the Cavs and Celtics to see a boy chop it up in the back seat of a Caddy.
When I say EVERYBODY was all in EVERYBODY was all in playa!! Accordin’ to ESPN it was the highest rated NBA game ever with a 9.1 metered market ratin’. Whatever that means right? But whatever it means EVERYBODY was watchin’. The fourth quarter registered a 12.0 which was the highest-rated quarter hour of an NBA game on ESPN as far as records go.
It doesn’t take genius to figure out that all that really means is that Big Momma, Lil’ Elbow and Man-Man nem along with everybody else in the hood was sittin’ in front of the TV watchin’ the game. So if everybody was tuned in then that means that everybody with access to the game should have been AT the game like players, coaches and folks right? Even if they’re injured? Everybody was there but Kyrie. That dun has been sittin’ on the bench with his teammates the entire playoffs but it’s mighty strange that when it’s “Po Pimp” time against the team he dipped from he’s all of a sudden MIA.
The Celtics president of basketball operations, Danny Ainge, told the press on Monday that ole boy had deviated septum surgery so he couldn’t make it to the game. Here’s exactly what he said so that I’m not twisted his words, “Kyrie had a deviated septum, had some surgery on that, and so I don’t think he wanted to be seen.” Ole boy tried to play it off actin’ like he’s playin’ by sayin’, “He’s a really good-looking guy. He can’t ruin his movie career.” In my Eddie Murphy voice, “Ha Ha very funny….!” Y’all know the rest.
Now I want everybody that believes that foolishness to spin around in circles 100 times and then stand on their heads butt naked with some combat boots on.
Since very few boyz wanna say it, I’ll do the honors. I believe that Kyrie was hidin’ from the Cavs. He’s knows the drill! He played with LeBron and won a title with him. He knows what that Philistine is capable of doin’ in a “Po Pimp” situation. That’s why he wasn’t there. How crazy would he have looked havin’ to shake LeBron’s hand on national television knowin’ he dipped because he thought he could do better without him? C’mon bruh!
Now I’m not sayin’ that the dun didn’t have the surgery but what I am sayin’ is that he didn’t have to have it when they were about to play Game 7. What was the rush after Game 6? Why couldn’t he have it after the Finals were over or why didn’t he have it durin’ the other series since he knew that he wasn’t goin’ to play? I’m just sayin’.
Ole boy probably scheduled that foolishness right after Game 6 and was conveniently unavailable for Game 7 if that’s the truth. Who knows if the dun even had surgery? We’ll never know but what I do know is that he wasn’t on the floor to shake that Philistine’s hand after the Celtics’ loss to him and he didn’t immortalize the picture of him eatin’ humble pie. Now you can stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Do or Die: noun – ’90’s rap group from Chicago with the hit record “Po Pimp”
2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
3) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!