WASTOFMONEYVILLE, ILL. — The Chicago Bears have done it again playas!!! They’ve proven to the world that they are still one of the worst ran franchises in the NFL. On Saturday they gave up everything and their baby’s momma’s momma’s minivan in a trade for Khalil Mack from the Oakland Raiders. Not only did they give up first-round picks in 2019 and 2020, a third-round pick in 2020 and a sixth-round pick in 2019 for him but they paid the dun $141 million over the next 6 years.
The contract includes $90 million GUARANTEED with a $60 million signin’ bonus. He’ll average $23.5 million per season and the dun won’t touch the football at all. Wheredeydodatat? In return, the Bears will receive a second-round pick in 2020 and a conditional fifth-round pick the same year.
Now all of my Bears fans are goin’ crazy, all fired up about ole boy gettin’ paid. Now if you’re related to this dun and you’re in line to benefit from the contract then I’m happy for you. However, if you plan on bein’ a Bears fan over the next 6 years you’ll see more of the same ole sorry Bears that are payin’ a boy through the nose that can’t help you win anymore football games than you’ve been winnin’!
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The money well spent on a football team is spent at the quarterback position not at the darn defensive end position bruh. Not unless you’ve got an offense that’s already purrin’ like a kitten. The quarterback handles the ball on EVERY snap and so goes the quarterback goes the team. The best teams in the league have quarterbacks that are ballin’. Not defensive ends!!! Now those teams may have great defensive ends but all of the bread goes into the dun handlin’ the ball not the other team’s quarterback.
It makes sense to pay Drew Brees, Aaron Rogers, Tom Brady and even cats like Michael Vick that type of bread because they are/were game changers. A defensive player in today’s game isn’t the game changer. He ain’t Deion Sanders or Charles Woodson that can affect several aspects of the game with his athletic ability. He’s a pass rusher. That isn’t worth $90 million in guaranteed bread in CHICAGO.
The other teams that have spent big money on defensive players have offensive players that are already ballin’. The Bears have absolutely nothin’! They’ve got Mitch Trubisky startin’ at quarterback with a bunch of dudes you’ve never heard of on offense. So you’re spendin’ Big Momma’s shoe box money on Khalil Mack? A dun that Oakland was willin’ to get rid of easily because you were crazy enough to give up the farm for him? That makes no sense!!
The Bears were 5-11 last year with no offensive weapons worth talkin’ about and they just went out and spent $141 million on a pass rusher. Think about that for 3 minutes and look me in my eyes and tell me that makes sense. And please don’t tell me that defense wins championships when the Bears can’t even make the playoffs.
Khalil Mack was the third best pass rusher in the NFL last year behind Aaron Donald (Rams) and Von Miller (Broncos) and they only won 6 games. So even as good as he is he’s not goin’ to help you win any more games. The Raiders knew that, that’s why they answered the darn phone when the Bears called them.
How many times have we seen JJ Watt be the best defensive player in the league for the Texans and what have they won? Absolutely nothin’!!!
I forgot that we were talkin’ about the Bears with the most delusional fan base in the NFL. Every year they think that this is the year. Don’t let them win in Week 1 either. Let Bears fans tell it, they’re goin’ to the Super Bowl. They signed Khalil Mack on Saturday and boyz were jumpin’ off of the roof like they had just signed Joe Montana in his prime and ole boy won’t touch a football all season. It was the worst move in Chicago Bear history. They spent a fortune on a dun that won’t help move the needle and they’re stuck payin’ the bill on that $90 million in GUARANTEED bread. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.
3) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!
Bears haven’t made the playoffs because they had no defense. Bears have a very young defense and the addition of a veteran could be close to if not better then eagles defense last year. Give it time because it won’t happen over night and true test will be Sunday against GB
If you need a thesaurus after an article to explain your ebonic jibberish, you are a disgrace to writing.