The Jay Graves Report

Falcons sprint through the Packers on their way to the Super Bowl! “Boots”

"We ready! We Ready!"

Everybody and their baby’s momma, includin’ me, didn’t give the dull Atlanta Falcons a gangsta’s chance of ridin’ through a suburban neighborhood blastin’ his music and not gettin’ pulled over. Even though the Falcons have been ballin’ all season nobody believed that they were gonna show up. Why? Because they’re the Falcons! I just knew that they were gonna wet the bed but they didn’t.

Not only did they show up but they beat the brakes off of Green Bay 44-21 and stripped the ride of everything on it. They only left them the baby shoes hangin’ from the rearview mirror.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Atlanta defense comin’ into this game wasn’t worth two dead flies smashed ranked 27th in the NFL. Green Bay’s defense wasn’t very much better at 21st. in the league. So we all thought that it would be a track meet in the Georgia Dome.

Well playas…the only duns that were runnin’ up and down the field freely were the Falcons. They put up darn near 500 yards of total offense and boyz made Matt Ryan look like freakin’ Joe Montana on steroids!! That dun was 27/38 for 392 yards, 4 touchdowns and no dull picks!! Julio Jones just took all of his clothes off and showed his bare bottom, like my momma used to say. He finished the day with 9 catches for 180 yards and 2 touchdowns.

As well as Green Bay had been playin’ on their 8 game winnin’ streak they looked like they were afraid of their own shadows out there. Boyz couldn’t catch a cold sittin’ on an iceberg butt naked in a snow storm!! Nor could they protect Mr. Discount Double Check. Somebody ran up and stole that dun’s belt too.  Aaron Rogers ran for his life the entire game and I know that he was ready to fight a boy in that locker room after the game. “Got me out here lookin’ a hot mess.”  

Now the Falcons are in Super Bowl LI! That’s 51 for all of you cats that don’t know your Roman Numerals. Let’s hope they can get to Houston and play the game without a boy actin’ a fool on them like Eugene Robinson did the last time they went to the Super Bowl  in 1999. That dun got arrested for solicitin’ a prostitute the night before the darn game. Talk about the Dirty Birds right?

Congrats to the Falcons again for takin’ care of business! See ya in H-Town and make sure that none of your players are “Knockin’ the Boots” with call girls the night before the game. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) H-Town: noun – Houston and the name of the R&B Group that sang the hit “Knocking the Boots” by in the ’90’s.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!