The Jay Graves Report

Cavs go down to Memphis and rob fans without a Ski Mask on! “Rest bruh?”

"Oh! We chillin' tonight playa! Didn't even bother gettin' on the plane!"

Saint Augustine once said, “In the absence of justice, what is sovereignty but organized robbery?” Jeff Cooper, the creator of the “modern technique” of handgun shooting,  gave it to us like this, “We continue to be exasperated by the view, apparently gaining momentum in certain circles, that armed robbery is okay as long as nobody gets hurt!” Then Calvin Coolidge put it where the goats can get it when he spit, “Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.”

Well playas…collectin’ more bread for tickets to see the Cavs without LeBron, Kyrie and Kevin Love is an armed robbery bruh! After the Cavs beat the doors off of Memphis 103-86 on Tuesday night Tyronn Lue told boyz that the Big Three wouldn’t be makin’ the trip to Memphis on Wednesday to play in the second half of a back-to-back with them. His excuse was that they needed the rest.

Now durin’ the pre-season LeBron told boyz that he was goin’ to play in a game in Cincinnati because it wasn’t an NBA city because boyz want to see him play. When a dun asked him why the same thinkin’ didn’t apply to this situation because this would be the one and only time this season that the Cavs would be in Memphis. Ole boy then had the nerve to get irritated. Here’s what he had to say:

“I do whatever my coach asks me to do! My coach wants me to rest, I don’t buck my coach. That’s what he wants and that’s what we’re going to do. I’ve been in this league 14 years. I shouldn’t have to explain me sitting out a game or not playing games. I’ve played in every arena, including Seattle, that’s no longer here. It’s not like it’s my first year. I’ve got 14 years. I’ve paid my dues — and more than a lot of guys in this league. But I’ll ride with my coach.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! For boyz not to play when cats have spent big money on tickets to see them play, especially LeBron, is “foul balls” any kind of way you look at it. Duns have been waitin’ all year to see the Cavs show up in Memphis bruh.  The CAVS!! Not the Ravs!!! Without LeBron it’s just another hoop team. Stop it! And without Kyrie and K. Love it’s really just another hoop team in the NBA. Nobody paid triple the price for those tickets to see duns like Richard Jefferson play all night.

Here’s my hater standin’ on the sideline worryin’ about me. “Jay, you’re just mad that you won’t get to see those duns play! That’s all!”  Bruh, I cover the NBA and don’t pay a dime to see these games! I’ve got a media credential. I’m fired up for the fans that paid hard earned money to see the best player in the world play! Think about all of the kids that have been waitin’ for the Cavs to roll into town for the one and only time they were scheduled to be there and The Big Three isn’t even in town.

Yeah, I know boyz do it all over the league now. It still doesn’t make it right.

Here’s the hater again, “Well technically they didn’t pay to see LeBron or the Big Three. They paid to see the Cleveland Cavaliers play the Grizzlies! So as long as the Cavs play there’s nothin’ you can really say.” 

Yeah, you sound like a complete fool with that one bruh. I know what the laws of marketin’ and promotion suggests. However, when the league promotes players instead of TEAMS then the fans are comin’ to see the superstars NOT the teams!

For years when the Lakers would roll into town boyz were in the buildin’ to see the Mamba not the dun that plays behind him.

If you’re sellin’ tickets to see the darn Jackson 5 and boyz show up and some dun named Mitchell is singin’ lead you’re probably ready to fight somebody! Especially if Mike is sittin’ backstage completely healthy and he’s just restin’ for the night. You show up lookin’ to see Destiny’s Child and some chick named Bonita is singin’ instead of Beyonce’ you’re lookin’ to tear somebody’s head off! If you’ve waited all year to go to the circus to see the Elephant Man and they run the little cheetah boy out there you’re throwin’ popcorn and soda demandin’ you’re bread back.

So don’t tell me about what technically is right or wrong! If LeBron or any dun with a GUARANTEED contract is healthy enough to play then they should be playin’. Allen Iverson used to pulled that foolishness all the time when they would come to Indiana. Now I’ve got no problem with a boy not playin’ the entire game but he could at least play a quarter just for that the fans that paid top dollar get to see him.  One hundred percent of the duns with Cavs gear on tonight came to see LeBron!! Not his understudy and this isn’t a play.

At least when you go to see a play and the lead sits out the night you get the same lines! The part is the part whoever is playin’ it. Yeah, the lead might be a little better or more charismatic but the part is the part. Nobody can play LeBron but LeBron.

And PLEASE don’t tell me that it’s a long season bruh! That’s what he get’s paid to do and he’s makin’ $30.9 million this year playa!!! He should be playin’ on his darn off days too! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.