The Jay Graves Report

Wizards come out of the bushes on Celtics in Game 3 and go NUTS! “Almost”

"You're lucky that I'm thinkin' about my game check bruh! Boy I wish this was 1981!" Photo: Barry Chin Boston Globe

Boston rolled into DC on Thursday night like Big Momma used to say, “Smellin’ themselves” and forgot that they had a Game 3 to play. They pulled up at the light in the middle of the ghetto half sleep and got car jacked!! The Wizards literally came out of the bushes on a boy and beat the brakes off of them 116-89.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Boston fell off in the joint with a 2-0 series lead feelin’ like these boyz from Washington were just goin’ to “just lay here and die” like Kunta Kinte wanted to do when they cut off half of his foot. But naw playa, they jumped all over them from the word go and never looked back. They put up a 39 point first quarter only givin’ up 17! NUTS!!!

Then they weren’t havin’ that foolishness from Boston as the big homie Ian Mahimni took exception to a boy pullin’ him to the ground as he got up like Marvin Gaye, “Let’s get it on!” After that dust up it was Chris Brown up in that piece “On and Poppin’!” 

Booooy!!! Um!!! (Photo by Greg Fiume/Getty Images)

There were a total of eight technical fouls and three ejections in this game led by a Kelly Oubre Jr.’s ejection that almost, ALMOST reminded you of the NBA of the 1980’s. I say almost because the dun got up and charged Kelly Olynyk to fire on him but he thought about that game check that he’s about to lose and just bumped into him real hard. In the ’80’s and ’90’s a boy could all out scrap and not even get ejected. Now they aren’t havin’ that foolishness in the league! If you swing on a boy you’re gettin’ tossed, loosin’ bread and you’re missin’ several games. Ask Metta World Peace if I’m lyin’!

Washington held the toothless one in check as well. They were able to lock down on Isaiah Thomas to hold him to 13 points and 2 assists in 29 minutes. They put that thang on him so much so that his teeth fell back out. Ole boy spent six hours in surgery on Monday tryin’ to get them fixed and then 4 hours in the hospital tryin’ to get the swellin’ down. Not only did they have to put a tooth back in but they had to repair damaged teeth as well.

He got out of the hospital and put 53 points on the Wizards in Game 2 on Tuesday night! However, John Wall and Co. were not havin’ that foolishness on Game 3. All five starters finished in double figures led by Wall’s 24 points and 8 assists. Otto Porter Jr. hit them up for 19 points and 8 rebounds as Marcin Gortat got at them with a solid 13 points and 16 rebounds. Bradley Beal dropped off a smooth 11 as Markieff Morris came out of the trunk on a boy with 10 points and 5 rebounds. And while everybody was distracted Bojan Bogdanovic came out of the bushes with 19 points and 10 rebounds. NUTS!!! Now the Celtics have to go back to the hotel, lick their wounds and get ready for Game 4. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Fire on: verb – to hit or punch someone

3) Comin’ out of the bushes: verb phrase – to come off of the bench.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!