The Jay Graves Report

Why Matt Barnes needs to tap Fish back up because that dun’s hard headed! “Rules and Codes”

"Yeah I know that ole boy is comin' for me when the Finals are over!" Photo: TMZ

When Derek Fisher was arrested this past Sunday mornin’ on suspicion of DUI after he flipped the 2015 Cadillac Escalade he was drivin’ I completely ignored that foolishness on purpose. Why? Because he’s completely fallen off after gettin’ fired from the New York Knicks as their head coach. Ole boy was doin’ way too much!

Matt Barnes tapped that dun up for messin’ around with his ole lady or former ole lady and for bein’ at his crib with his kids. Look here bruh, once you’ve been cool with a boy or worked with a boy, hollerin’ at his woman or former woman is off limits. That’s just the code! I didn’t make the rules I just live by them because there are way too many women out here for cats to be bumpin’ into each other.

Then on Thursday the news comes out that the whip that the dun totaled was Matt Barnes’ joint. He’d given it to his now former wife, Gloria, to move his kids around in. Okay let’s pause like a comma right here playa. The ride is registered to Matt so therefore, it belongs to Matt. So don’t start talkin’ reckless with this foolishness.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If the ride is registered to Matt Barnes then it’s his ride regardless of who’s drivin’ the joint and your sucker boyfriend can’t be ridin’ around in it. That’s for you and the kids to ride around in.

“Bruh…

Now ole girl is bein’ disrespectful because she already knows the rules. She ain’t workin’!! She’s livin’ off of Matt!! And if she is workin’ whatever she’s makin’ ain’t payin’ for her lifestyle So you can’t flauge your boyfriend around in another cat’s whip and Fish knows that!!

So when these Finals are over tonight in Cleveland ole Matt is goin’ to be on the first thing smokin’ to LA to tap that dun up again and rightfully so because ole boy keeps violatin’ the code.

I know a lot of cats got stuck on the joint a few paragraphs above when I said that it’s way too many women out here for boyz to be bumpin’ into to one another. So sit down young wanna be playa and let the O.G. help you out since you’re clueless of how the game works.

It’s 7 to 1 out here on a normal day. That’s women to men just in case you didn’t know that. But a cat with some flavor can’t holler at his 7, the gay dude’s 7, the cat with no flavor’s 7, the dun that keeps gettin’ locked up’s 7, the boyz that keep dyin’ in these street’s 7, the cat with no bread’s 7! That’s just right off of the top bruh. So therefore, there is no reason for boyz to be bumpin’ into each other out here.  Absolutely no reason!!!

For that reason alone Fish is due for a tap up this weekend. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Flauge: verb – hood for show off. Well that’s G.I. for show off.

3) G.I.: noun – Gary, Indiana

4) Whip: noun – luxury vehicle

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!