COLUMBUS, OH. — On Wednesday night The Ohio State University University finally told the world that they would be retainin’ both Urban Meyer and athletic director Gene Smith. However, Meyer would be banned from interactin’ with the team through September 2 and then he’d be suspended the first three games of the season. Smith on the other hand would be suspended for two weeks from August 31 to September 16.
Shortly after the the suspensions were announced Ohio State released a statement detailing this foolishness. “Although neither Urban Meyer nor Gene Smith condoned or covered up the alleged domestic abuse by Zach Smith, they failed to take sufficient management action relating to Zach Smith’s misconduct and retained an Assistant Coach who was not performing as an appropriate role model for OSU student-athletes.”
It went on to say, “Permitting such misconduct to continue is not consistent with the values of the University and reflects poorly on Coach Meyer, Athletic Director Smith, and the University. Their handling of this matter did not exhibit the kind of leadership and high standards that we expect of our Athletic Director, Head Coach, Assistant Coaches and all on the football staff.”
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! In other words, that dun is winnin’ way too many football games for us to fire him. So this is the closest thing we can do makin’ it right around here. Yeah we know that it was foolishness but what do you want us to do? We jumped the gun and fired Jim Tressel when we shouldn’t have back in 2010 and it was chaos around this piece until we hired Urban two years later.
He’s come in here and restored us to greatness by goin’ undefeated in his first season in 2012. We couldn’t compete for a national title or win the Big Ten title because we were still on probation. Then ole boy won a national title in 2014 along with two Big Ten Titles in 2014 and 2017. So guess what playa? We aren’t makin’ that mistake ever again. Unless Urban turns into a complete savage and runs through this joint butt naked foamin’ at the mouth cursin’ everybody out and swings on a boy, he’s coachin’ this football team.
It’s sad but it’s true. Everybody and their baby’s momma knew that Urban wasn’t goin’ anywhere bruh. He’s makin’ that university way too much bread for them to fire him because Zach Smith was out of control. I’m not condonin’ any of this foolishness. I’m just tellin’ you how the world of big time college football works.
Just walk through the campus and look at all of the beautiful buildings bein’ constructed or those that have been constructed. Look at all of the wonderful facilities etc. They have all been built on the backs of the football program. It pays for darn near everything on campus. Not to mention that it pays for all of the other non-revenue producin’ sports. Just in case you don’t know what those are, that’s every sport other than men’s basketball.
The football program carries everything!!! There are more than 1,000 scholarship athletes on campus participatin’ on 35 different teams and football plays for everything. In 2015-16 the football program alone generated more than $111 million! They brought in $61 million in ticket sales for 7 home games. They popped another $33.1 in from booster donations and contributions (because they’re winnin’) and made another $17.2 in royalties, licensin’, advertisements and sponsorship agreements.
Not to mention that it has a direct impact on the incomin’ freshman class every year. There is a direct correlation between the football program winnin’ championships and the increase in incomin’ freshman applicants every year. This is big time college football at it’s finest.
So unfortunately, Urban Meyer wasn’t goin’ anywhere. Don’t get mad at me playa, I’m just spittin’ the game at you. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!