The Jay Graves Report

The REAL reason LeBron should be ashamed of himself this mornin’! “The Cage”

Sigmund Freud once said, “The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing.” Talib Kweli came off stage and told a boy, “You have to know when to be arrogant. You have to know when to be humble. You have to know when to be hard and you have to know when to be soft.” Then Ali ibn Abi Talib, the son-in-law of the Islamic Prophet Muhammad, broke it down so that it would forever be broken when he said, “Do not be too hard, lest you be broken; do not be too soft, lest you be squeezed.”

Well playas…LeBron James was way too soft on Friday night and got squeezed on the west side of Chicago by some real cats. I’m not even talkin’ about the Cavs gettin’ beat by the Bulls on a freakin’ buzzer beater by Derrick Rose 99-96. I’m hollerin’ about LeBron sittin’ at the post-game presser lookin’ and soundin’ like Slep Rock from the Flintstones, “Wowsy Wowsy Woo Woo Joakim Noah went too far with the trash talk. I’m the father of three kids!” What!!!!??? You’re grown “A” man!! It would have been different if he would have been talkin’ crazy to you in front of your kids.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Joakim called him a B. midway through the third quarter in a ritual that goes back since they invented sports and started lettin’ brothers play. Durin’ a freakin’ game everything goes but hollerin’ about a boy’z momma or his wife. If either of those hit the table then it’s a TV timeout and somebody’s takin’ a beatin’’! Other than that, it’s business as usual playboy.

In every hood in America you better bring your lunch because a boy is gonna call you everything in the freakin’ book to get in your head. And obviously Joakim did last night pimpin’ because LeBron turned that joint over 7 times and went 8-25 from the field. Mission accomplished and the Bulls are up 2-1. Now don’t get it twisted playboy he put up crazy numbers with 27 points, 14 assists and 8 rebounds but the 7 turnovers killed ’em.

How is it even possible that a fully grown man sits up on a podium after an NBA game and complains that a boy was disrespectfully talkin’ noise? And that’s the edited version! But how else do you talk trash bruh? What’s so crazy is that LeBron called him a B.A.N. after he dunked on him later which drew the double technical because obviously Joakim responded like an old school G usin’ a word that boyz don’t even use any more. Cats stop usin’ that joint back in like the 8th grade. It’s a level 10 word that I refuse to even write down or substitute with a letter bruh.

So to get up on the podium and complain that a boy went too far was as soft as drug store cotton candy. You gotta take the “L” and keep it movin’ LeBron! You can’t tell on a boy because you got caught and lost the game. That’s part of the game. Talkin’ trash is the game INSIDE the game playa! Where you from?


Let me put it where the goats can get it playboy. Here’s the problem. LeBron is from Akron which is hood but he didn’t play in the hood. Now days (late ‘90’s to present) these cats don’t spend too much time in the cages because they all play AAU basketball darn near year around. So guess what? They’ve got refs and rules to follow so these duns don’t ever play a real pick-up game in the ghetto like they used to do in the hood.

That’s where you learned how to talk noise and fight if need be. The best players were at the cages everyday all day! Now for all of you suburbanites and cats from rural America the cage is the basketball court in the hood that is fenced in to keep the ball from gettin’ away and boyz from gettin’ away when it pops off. The fence surrounds the court therefore, it’s called the cage!

Now the best players are travelin’ all summer with AAU teams and these young boyz don’t get to talk straight up trash and fight when necessary. And yes playboy back in the ‘70’s and ‘80’s it was necessary to fight a boy if he got out of pocket and said something that he couldn’t just walk away with. Say the wrong thing about a boy’z momma and the game would just get longer. You’d get a tech alright! You’d technically get yo butt whooped! And that’s the edited version.

So LeBron needs to stop worryin’ about what Joakim is sayin’ and play ball before he gets the rest of the summer off. I’m just sayin’ and stop me when I start lyin’!

Playa Thesaurus: 

1) Pimpin’: noun – the person that I’m passionately tryin’ to get me point across to.
2) G: noun – short for gangsta, a cat that isn’t takin’ anything from a boy, a person that will stand up for himself at all costs.
3) Let me put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to break it down where you can understand it, to be as clear as vodka. Goats eat off of the ground so I’m puttin’ it as low to the ground as I can for you playa.
4) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc.