The Jay Graves Report

The Clemson defense just NEEDS to run up on the right cats bruh! “Family Jewels?”


Just in case you missed the foolishness that’s been all over the internet and television of Christian Wilkins from Clemson grabbin’ Curtis Samuel’s “Family Jewels” durin’ the Playstation Fiesta Bowl on New Year’s Eve. Let me replay that foolishness for you. Ole boy from Ohio State was tackled and as he was lyin’ on the ground belly down this dun from Clemson ran up on him, reached between the dun’s legs and grabbed his joint bruh!! He didn’t punch him! He gropped him bruh!!

Once the foolishness hit the fan and it was everywhere Wilkins’ dull teammate Ben Boulware gave this ignorant explanation,  “The game is so serious and locked in, and you do stuff to break up the seriousness of the game. People are trying to say sexual assault, and people who say that have never played football, never been in a locker room, seen the weird stuff — we’re together every day for years, and you get very comfortable with each other.”

He then begins to sound like he’s about to make some sense but he completely hits the guard rails with some more foolishness when he says, “Christian went a little too far. But I’ll mess with somebody, poke them in the belly button, grab someone’s butt. The dun should have stopped right there bruh!! But nooooo he keeps goin’!

“People freaking out about that have never played the game or they were losers with no friends when they played. It’s annoying it’s brought so much attention to it, trying to divert the attention that we beat them by 31 points.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st!  Losers? No friends? What’s wrong with these young cats bruh? You grope a boy where I’m from and it’s gonna be some furniture movin’ around! I played this game too!! Nobody was grabbin’ boyz “packages!” Are you kiddin’ me? Yes, you poked boyz in the eye, in the throat and you even punched cats in the joint but you didn’t grab nothin’! Especially his family jewels! Grab him bruh?

What are they on down at Clemson? And for this done to act like that’s normal is crazy to me!! Massagin’ a boyz joint while he’s on the ground? Maybe I just grew up in too violent of a city. “In The G!!!?” Ain’t no way bruh!!  There is no way a boy would have grabbed a cat’s family jewels and been able to walk off of the field with his momma bein’ able to recognize him. Not where I grew up! Not where I’m from! Not with the cats I know!!

And for a boy to think that it’s permissable is crazy!! And who’s runnin’ the darn defense? Brent Venables, the defensive coordinator, must be out of his mind if he’s watchin’ these fools do it. If they’ve been doin’ it all season like the Boulware says they have. Then the darn coachin’ staff knows that they’re doin’ it. What’s wrong with the duns that they’ve been playin’? Games would have been stopped and boyz would be gettin’ carried out on stretchers 20 or 30 years ago. These young boyz are something else bruh.

I know that the world has changed but it hasn’t changed that much playa! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) The G: noun – Gary, Indiana

 The caption under the photo isn’t real but it’s REAL talk!