The Jay Graves Report

OJ Simpson’s finally gonna listen to Big Momma now! “Go Sit Yo Butt Down”

"In my Bart Scott voice, 'Can't Wait!!!'" Photo: Jason Bean | Reuters

Thirteen years after O.J. Simpson was acquitted of double murder charges he was convicted and sentenced to a Nevada prison for kidnappin’, armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. Even though the dun never carried a gun and grabbed anyone in the freakin’ room. The cats that actually pulled the guns never spent a day in jail! Wheredeydodatat?

It was no surprise that when he was sentenced to 9 to 33 and a half years in prison it was because of the murder trial acquittal and the $33 million civil suit he lost. Not because he’d walked in with a bunch make shift gangsters and stole his property back from some memorabilia dealers.

Well playas…he was granted parole on Thursday and people are still divided about how they feel about him. All I know is that he should have listened to Big Momma in the first place.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Every Big Momma, Madea, Ma Ma or Granny Fae in every hood in America has said, “You better go somewhere and sit yo butt down because fat meat is greasy!” O.J. had already gotten away with murder and the dun wouldn’t go sit his butt down. And that’s the edited version.

The LAPD tried to frame a guilty man and it backfired on them. Ole Johnny Cochran tore them apart in that court room too. He ate Christopher Darden and Marcia Clark for dinner every day of that foolishness and all O.J. had to do was go somewhere and sit down after he was acquitted.

Then the dun got cocky and started playin’ games with boyz. He wrote a freakin’ book entitled “If I did it.” Remember that foolishness? And Big Momma was still in the background sayin’, “O.J.!!! Go sit yo butt down now! I keep tellin’ you that fat meat is greasy!”

But O.J. kept on runnin’ up and down the street playin’ in traffic! Big Momma’s in the window at that point! “O.J. you better sit yo butt down! And that’s the edited version bruh!

So in September of 2007 he ran up in a hotel room with a bunch of fools carryin’ guns tryin’ to retrieve his belongings and ended up gettin’ popped! Big Momma finally said, “Now you’ll get a chance to see just how greasy that fat meat is! Why? Because you wouldn’t listen to me.”

After spendin’ nine years sittin’ in that box I bet that dun will go sit his butt down now! Everybody’s worried about whether he’s gonna keep actin’ a fool or not. Bruh…he was 61 years old when he went in and now he’s 70! He’s not crazy and he can count. He’s closer to the end than the beginnin’. That dun is about to disappear bruh! The most you’re goin’ to see from O.J. is him eatin’ dinner somewhere.

Boyz on TV are askin’ about whether he’ll work with the NFL or will he even want to? What’s wrong with these people bruh? He’s 70 years old and he’s a convicted felon. Why would the NFL wanna fool with O.J. or better yet, why would O.J. want to fool with the NFL? He’s 70 and he’s been in prison for the past 9 years! That dun wants to sleep on the darn mattress and and sleep in for a change. He wants to take a shower without Tiny tryin’ to get at him for once. He’s not thinkin’ about workin’ or anything else for that matter. He’s gettin’ $25K a month in a pension!!!

I tell you what, I bet ole boy’z listenin’ to Big Momma now and he’s about to sit his butt down. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for “Who does that?”

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!