The Jay Graves Report

Notre Dame gets the Gas Face! “And Brian Kelly knows that!”

"These jokers right up here bruh blow my mind!"

Ziyi Zhang, the Chinese actress and model, once said, “Whatever you see – any good results – are all from the pressure.” Ernst Hemingway broke it down like this, “Courage is grace under pressure.” Then Peter Marshall, the television and radio personality, put it where the goats could get it when he spit, “When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”

Well playas…pressure can make a boy pull all kinds of stunts just to win ball games if you’re not careful. On Tuesday the NCAA ordered ole dull delusional Notre Dame to vacate all wins from the 2012 and 2013 football seasons because of academic misconduct. Accordin’ to the report a former athletic trainer and two football players were involved in some foolishness academically. That same trainer provided six other players impermissible academic benefits. In other words, the dun must have been doin’ boyz homework and takin’ tests etc.  All knowingly against the rules playboy!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! I’ve been tellin’ you boyz for years that it was impossible to be a football powerhouse and an academic powerhouse at the same time. Brian Kelly was tryin’ to pull that program out of the dumps on his way to a National Championship game in 2012 and he wasn’t about to let somethin’ like grades keep him from gettin’ there. So the dun and the rest of the cats in that program cracked under the pressure that is the foolishness of Notre Dame.

I’m not mad at him because he just got caught! He didn’t do anything that isn’t goin’ on at every other major institution in America that houses a big time football program. But what kills me are the delusional Notre Dame fans that actually think that they can put a national championship caliber team on the field  and be an academic power at the same time in this day and age.

You can’t be both unless you decide to move into the Ivy League bruh. ND can’t get the players that the state schools have access too. When you look at the top 150 recruits in the country, the Irish can only talk to about 30 of them because of the academic requirements. Other schools like Michigan, Texas, Alabama, Ohio St, Michigan etc. can talk to all of them and will sign maybe 12 or 13 of them every year. Now what happens when ND shows up to play say, Alabama, and they’ve got 60 of them (12×5 yrs of recruitin’ for example) and the Fightin’ Irish only have 3? They’re down 21 points before they even get off of the bus bruh. Just like they did in the National Title game.

I know what you’re sayin’, “Well, Duke is able to do it in basketball.” You’re absolutely right… but they only have to recruit three players a year. In the game of football you have to find 25 players a year. That’s a much harder task. Keep in mind success breeds success and the Irish simply don‘t have any. I can hear Irish fans screamin’, “We’ve won 11 national titles, 7 Heisman Trophies and have produced 95 All-Americans.” I know that bruh, but the kid that you’re recruitin’ doesn’t know that. A dun comin’ out of high school now is 17 or 18 years old and wasn’t even born when you won your last title in 1988.

These duns think that their program is still relevant when it simply isn’t. There are many issues facin’ this historic program that has allowed it to crumble right before our eyes. The mystique of Notre Dame simply no longer exists bruh. They want to compete for a national title every year but don’t realize that their greed and arrogance keeps gettin’ in the way. And every dun that they hire gets sucked up into the vacuum of greed that’s makes it that much more difficult to win at the level they expect them to.

Sit down playa and let me school you real quick, Notre Dame, you either want the NBC contract so that you can keep all of the money or you want to play in the Final Four and possibly the national title game. You can’t have both. By continuin’ to be an independent you put your team at a constant disadvantage and Brian Kelly knows that. If by chance they lose just one game (and God forbid it’s an early loss), they have absolutely nothin’ to play for the rest of the season because they aren’t in a conference. There is no conference title to win. It’s either all or nothin’ at Notre Dame and how do you sell that to an 18 year old recruit? And Brian Kelly knows that! That’s why a trainer was doin’ some foolishness.

They need to join the ACC like the rest of their team sports – and then they’ll have a great shot at gettin’ to the Final Four because of the potential of bein’ a conference champion could open the door. They  finally learned in 2010 that they needed to water down that schedule a bit to give themselves a chance at competin’ nationally with the other big boys.

Additionally, the Fightin’ Irish have to be able to recruit the elite (top 150) African-American athlete. They thought that ole dull Paul Hornung (ND 1956 Heisman Trophy winner) was some crazy old dude a few years ago when he told them the same thing. The administration simply dismissed it because they’ve been able to get a few like Golden Tate and Michael Floyd over that past several years. However, they need a roster full of them like everyone else in the country. And Brian Kelly knows that.

The reason it’s so difficult for ND to get these players is because of the lack of diversity on ND’s campus. For the most part, the only African American students on campus are the athletes. There are very few black non-athletes on campus. Primarily because it costs more than $67,000 per year to attend. Not very many families can afford that price tag and those who can, don’t necessarily want to send their kids to Notre Dame. And Brian Kelly knows that.

The majority of folks with that type of bread would rather send their children to the prestigious, Historically Black Colleges and Universities like Morehouse, Spellman, Hampton or Howard – clearly not Notre Dame bruh. Because of the lack of diversity on campus, players will continue to be reluctant to go to South Bend. There has to be a life outside of football for players to connect to. If there aren’t other students that look like them they won’t come. And Brain Kelly knows that. So for the duns that he can talk into comin’ to ND he’s gotta make sure that they’re available to play no matter what.

I hear you askin’,  “How did they get the top African-American players in the 1970’s, ’80’s & early ’90’s?” Listen up bruh…durin’ that period of time ND meant something because they were a powerhouse comin’ out of the ’40’s through the ’60’s when blacks couldn’t attend predominately white institutions. So when the opportunity presented itself, brothers took advantage of it. Notre Dame was where many kids wanted to be because of the national appeal and TV exposure. Now everybody is on TV and has national appeal because of the plethora of channels showcasin’ college football. You don’t have to go to South Bend to play on TV in this day and age.

So let me break it down like a playa at a pimp convention. In order to win, you’ve got to go where the best players are, and that’s down South or out West to California. That’s a problem for Notre Dame because it‘s in the South Bend, In. where it’s cold and snows in winter.  Let’s say a kid does decide to play up north. He’ll more likely go to Columbus or Ann Arbor before he goes to South Bend. Why? Because he’s at least seen them win in his lifetime and there are more people on campus that look like him. That’s real talk! And Brain Kelly knows that!! So the duns that are there HAVE to be eligible to play no matter what.

So when they eventually fire Brian Kelly, and they will, just like Lou Holtz, Bob Davey, Ty Willingham and Charlie Weis before him. The administration at some point needs to understand that it’s still not the coaches fault, it’s the school’s fault for puttin’ a boy in that situation in the first place! The pressure to win makes a boy do things that he wouldn’t normally do. And that’s why ND is duller today than it was yesterday walkin’ around with the gas face. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

4) Gas Face: noun – rap song released in 1989 by the group 3rd Base.