The Jay Graves Report

LaVar Ball sounds like he’s been Smokin’ on Hay in the Middle of the Barn! “THEE”

"Y'all think I'm playin' but Ima win the 100 meters in the 2020 Olympics too."

For the past month or so boyz have been talkin’ to LaVar Ball, UCLA guard Lonzo Ball’s dad, like the dun has good sense or something. For some strange reason they keep puttin’ a microphone in his face like he’s really got something intelligent to say.

Well playas…on Friday the duns over at USA Today poked the bear again and guess who stood up? The delusional dad for outer space. This time he started talkin’ like he’s swallowed a whole can of mushrooms, stuck a needle full of Blue Magic into his arm, smoked all of Snoop and Wiz Khalifa’s stash and emptied out Ozzy Osborn’s bottom drawer. In the famous words of Crucial Conflict, “Smokin’ on Hay!!! Hay in the middle of the barn!!!!”

Ole boy told USA Today’s Josh Peter, “Back in my heyday, I would kill Michael Jordan one-on-one.” He goes on to explain how he would have made that happen with these ole ignorant words, “I would just back (Jordan) in and lift him off the ground and call a foul every time he fouls me when I do a jump hook to the right or the left,” Ball said. “He cannot stop me one-on-one. He better make every shot ’cause he can’t go around me. He’s not fast enough. And he can only make so many shots outside before I make every bucket under the rim.”

Then he qualifies this foolishness with, “Now in a game of five-on-five (Jordan) might do some damage, but I’m going to do some damage, too.”

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! STOP TALKIN’ TO THAT DUN!!!! He’s crazy!!! As long as there is a hot mic in the room he’s gonna keep talkin’ and soundin’ like a stark raving maniac jumpin’ out of the birthday cake butt naked foamin’ at the mouth!!

This cat said that he would give Jordan the business back in his day! However, his day was the same day as Jordan’s but he averaged only 2 points per game at Washington State before transferrin’ to Cal State Los Angeles, a Division II school. Now for the record playboy, duns that can hoop good enough to compete with Jordan don’t typically average 2 points per game and then transfer to a Division II school to be able to score more points. I’m just sayin’.

Since they didn’t turn the mic off ole boy kept talkin’ like Ned the Whino from Good Times and spittin’ foolishness out of his mouth. He says that he wants a $1 Billion shoe deal for his three sons in a package deal. His other two kids are still in high school bruh!! HIGH SCHOOL!! I can’t make this foolishness up!! He said, “That’s our number, a billion, straight out of the gate. And you don’t even have to give it to me all up front. Give us $100 million over 10 years.”

Bruh…if they had brought the drug K-9 in durin’ this interview the dog would have a heart attack from barkin’ so hard and loud.

Let me give you some perspective here on what this clown is actually sayin’ his kids that haven’t proved a thing is worth. LeBron has signed a lifetime deal with Nike that’s worth a $1 Billion. Jordan is currently makin’ $100 million per year right now from the Jordan Brand. And then the shoe endorsements fall off significantly with KD makin’ only $30 million per year for the next 10.

Now how in THEE world is a dun with kids playin’ high school ball in the suburbs and a kid that isn’t even the best shooter on his college team tellin’ boyz that they should be gettin’ what LeBron and Jordan are gettin’ right now? Put him in a straight jacket and haul him away. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Check out the “Real Playa Podcast” on this foolishness too!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk! And I have no proof that the dun has been smokin’, snortin’, injectin’ or swallowin’ any elicit or recreational drugs. He just sounds like it.