The Jay Graves Report

How Conor McGregor is pullin’ off the GREATEST heist in the history of the world! “Suckas”

"Look at all of these suckas! I'm takin' every dime I can get from 'um!"

Albert Einstein once said, “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” But what the dun didn’t say was that common sense and hustlin’ rules the world! Conor McGregor understands full well that he’s got absolutely no shot at even touchin’ Floyd Mayweather let alone beatin’ him. However, he’s usin’ his common sense to talk as much trash as humanly possible to hype up this fight.

The more suckas that fall for the banana in the tailpipe the more bread he makes even in a loss. And since he’s got as much of a shot at winnin’ this fight as I have at outrunnin’ Usain Bolt. He’s all in on creatin’ a spectacle.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! McGregor pulled off the greatest heist in the history of mankind. He suckered Floyd into fightin’ him when Floyd was the draw and could fight anybody includin’ Joe Poo Butt and make $50 -$75 million. He’s been doin’ it for years bruh. Mayweather didn’t need McGregor to make a fortune because he’d already done it. However, McGregor needed Floyd because he’s the A card!!!!

Check this out bruh, McGregor made $27 million off of two bouts in 2016 accordin’ to Forbers. Add another $4 million in endorsements. On the other hand, Floyd made a total of $240 million off of the Pacquiao alone! He’s been able to pick and choose who he fights because he’s his own promoter. The dun cut out the middle man years ago and has made darn near a $1 billion in prize money.

McGregor looked at his bank account, then looked at Floyd’s and decided to hustle that dun off of pure emotion. He talked enough trash to ole boy to get him to bite. Now McGregor is lookin’ to make $75 million in one night!! He never would have touched that type of bread foolin’ around with MMA. So you can call him crazy all you want but he’s gettin’ over on everybody.

Floyd’s gettin’ just north of $100 million but the Irishman’s right behind him bruh. Sure, Mayweather is pickin’ up an easy check because the dun he’s fightin’ can’t box. For $75 million I’d fight a blind polar bear butt naked in some roller skates and a G-string bruh. For $75 million I’d wrestle a toothless alligator in a pinstriped suit with snake oil all over me. For $75 million I’d fight a toeless Gorilla wearin’ a full length mink coat in the middle of a PETA convention.

Yeah bruh! Conor McGregor is the real genius here. He suckered a dun into pickin’ him to fight to make enough bread to set his family up for generations to come and he doesn’t know the first thing about boxin’.

That’s like me talkin’ Roger Penske into payin’ me $20 million to drive one of his cars in the Indianapolis 500 next year. That’s like talkin’ Jerry Jones into lettin’ me start at quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys and puttin’ the franchise tag on me. Bruh…that’s like me talkin’ my way into signin’ with the Golden State Warriors for the max and runnin’ the point without ever playin’ basketball in my life.

Conor McGregor just pulled off the ultimate heist in the history of the world and I ain’t mad at him. Why? Because it’s all legal. He’s stealin’ money in plain sight with everybody’s permission. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!