The Jay Graves Report

Cavs hit the projects with a hooptie and come out with a new ride! “Brand New?”

D. Wade: "What's that?" LeBron: "Ima have to let you go playa!" Photo: Gregory Shamus/Getty

The Cavs pulled into the projects on Thursday mornin’ in an old beat up hooptie with a great driver but a so-so engine, terrible tires and body work. They left the joint runnin’, with music blastin’ with an extra set of keys in it. When they came out of Uncle Junior’s apartment shortly after noon some dun had stripped it to it’s core only leavin’ part of the engine and the driver’s seat.

They got rid of all of the dead weight so that a boy could actually get somewhere. The “smoke break” takin’ D. Wade was gone. “I don’t know what I wanna do with myself” D. Rose was in the wind. “I’m just hangin’ out because I’ve got nothin’ else to prove out here” Iman Shumpert was longer wastin’ space.

Then “I don’t even know why I was here in the first place” Jae Crowder was no longer sittin’ in the back seat. “I really didn’t care one way or another” Channing Frye was at the chop shop before anybody even knew he was gone. Finally, the dun that just talked way too much and didn’t play an ounce of defense, Isaiah Thomas, was literally on his way to LA still talkin’ about what he wasn’t goin’ to do.

The Cavs rebooted and brought in some young thunder cats to help them at least save face in the Eastern Conference race. They got rid of all of that dead weight and brought in George Hill, Jordan Clarkson, Larry Nance Jr. and Rodney Hood.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! What boyz really want to know is, do they have enough to compete with Golden State? Well playas…they need to find out if they have enough to compete with Boston and Toronto first. That’s what’s starin’ them in the face right now.

Yeah, I know that the ultimate goal is to win a championship but we’re lookin’ at the All-Star break in another week and then it’s Chris Brown “On and Poppin’!” after that. Is there enough time to develop the chemistry needed to make a push deep into the playoffs? We’ll see. With LeBron at the helm you never know. He’s capable of gettin’ boyz to the Finals but let’s pump the brakes first and get a boy out of the projects first.

The good thing is, LeBron’s easy to play with. Just do what they dun says to do. He’ll get the rock to you if you’re open and he trusts that you’re goin’ to do your job and if you’re on the floor that means yes. There really isn’t an offense that you’ve got to wrestle with because it all goes through LeBron just be open.

The key to playin’ with him is to be on the floor and trust him. Don’t start talkin’ too much about what you wanna do or what you think should happen. Just shut up and play. That was Isaiah’s problem. That dun thought he was better than he was. He had one great year in Boston and now he’s a primadonna. Hint: for all you fans that think he was better than he was. Organizations don’t trade their franchise players in their prime.

That’s why he’s on his way to LA right now still talkin’. Accordin’ to ESPN’s Rachel Nichols, IT’s agent is tellin’ boyz that he’s not comin’ off of the bench in LA and if so, some sort of a buyout has to be worked out. Are you kiddin’ me playa? His plane hadn’t even landed yet and he’s tellin’ Magic what he’s NOT goin’ to do.

It should be fun to watch all of this foolishness play out over the second half of the season. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Hooptie: noun – raggedy car that gets you around town but you can’t put it on the highway

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!


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