BOSTON, MA. — Well Playas…the Boston Celtics have landed two and a half of the five smooth stones needed to take down that Philistine in Cleveland. On Tuesday night Brad Stevens and Co. delivered a staggerin’ blow to the Cavs in a 107-94 victory to go up 2-0 in the series now headed to Northeast Ohio.
After loosin’ Game 1 by a whoppin’ 35 points LeBron came out the gate with guns a blazin’ goin’ to the rack and shootin’ from the darn parkin’ lot. Ole boy did his usual after a loss by goin’ ham with a triple double finishin’ with 42 points, 12 assists and 10 rebounds but that wasn’t enough to beat a better TEAM in Game 2. It was his fifth 40-point game this post-season. That’s NUTS!!! What’s so crazy is that he averages 41 points on 63 percent shootin’ after a playoff loss.
Even though he put in work Boston showed up with an entire squad of boyz ready to bang. Their entire startin’ lineup finished in double figures led by Jaylen Brown’s 23 points. Terry Rozier came out of the passenger seat with 18 as Al Horford lit ‘um up with a solid double-double with 15 points and 10 rebounds. Marcus Morris came out of the back seat with 12 as Jayson Tatum dropped off 11 on his way to Big Momma’s house. Not to mention that Marcus Smart came out of the bushes with 11 points too.
That’s way too much fire power for one man to handle playboy. That Philistine is havin’ to do it all this deep in the playoffs, it’s hard to hold up the ship when you’re essentially out there by yourself. Now we’ve seen him do it before so it’s not impossible but dang bruh. Sure, Kevin Love had 22 points and ole Kyle Korver finally came to work with 11 out of the bushes but that’s not goin’ to be enough to stop a train full of boyz when they’re on fire.
LeBron put up 21 of the Cavs 27 points in the first quarter. He was literally in the street fightin’ by himself. Boyz hittin’ him with those smooth stones and not a single dun on his team got out of the whip to help him.
Korver finally came out of the bushes and heated the joint up scorin’ 11 points in 7 minutes but then he was done. Late in the second quarter LeBron takes a shoulder to the jaw and leaves the game at the 3:48 mark with a neck strain. Every Cleveland fan in America stopped breathin’ when that dun walked to the locker room. I swear I saw cats hyperventilatin’ because without him the Cavs are a HOT mess. However, he re-entered the game at the 1:57 mark to the relief of Cavs fans but he was never the same the rest of the way.
Cleveland got to the break up 55-48 shootin’ 51 percent from the field and 50 percent from behind the arc. The Philistine finished the first half with 25 points. Even though Boston only had one player, Jaylen Brown with 16 points, in double figures at the break they were only down 7 points.
Whatever Brad Stevens or Big Momma said to the Celtics in the locker room at halftime worked. They came out of the break and exploded for a 36 point third quarter to essentially deliver the knockout punch for Game 2. The Cavs were stumblin’ around lookin’ for answers the entire second half. LeBron continued to put in work but it was clear that he wasn’t the same player after strainin’ his neck.
I’ve said all along that the BEST TEAM always wins a seven game series but LeBron has been defyin’ logic with the numbers he’s been puttin’ up and draggin’ the Cavs through the first two rounds. Unless his supportin’ cast visits the Wizard of Oz and demands a new heart between now and Game 3 they’re in trouble. That man can’t handle Boston alone not with Brad Stevens callin’ plays and all of those young thunder cats runnin’ up and down the floor. Naw playa…not in this lifetime.
I thought that the Philistine would be able to get past these cats and get taken down by Golden State again but Boston is not playin’ around. They’ve got two and a half more smooth stones to hit him with and he’s goin’ down. Can he withstand this foolishness? I don’t think so playa. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) Come out of the bushes: verb phrase – to come out of the bushes
3) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!