Several years ago I wrote an article entitled “Why All Children Should Play Sports.” It’s the closest thing to teaching real life lessons that everyone needs to build a foundation for being an adult. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to learn the lessons that sports is trying to teach them.
I spend a lot of time speaking to young athletes about being patient and allowing these games to teach them the lessons of life but unfortunately, many of them don’t listen. That goes for their mothers and fathers too.
Every year I see so many kids at both the high school and college level transferring from school to school because they were frustrated about their playing time.
Sometimes it okay to sit the bench. It’s okay to sit the bench if you aren’t ready to play. It’s okay to sit the bench when you’re not as good as the guy that’s playing in front of you. It’s okay to sit the bench simply because it’s not your time yet and it darn sure is okay to sit the bench if you aren’t as good as you think you are. Either way, there is a life lesson in being patient and waiting your turn.
Let me tell you my story. I grew up in Gary, Indiana and played football at Roosevelt High School. By the time I finished my career there I was the starting running back, the leading rusher on the team, named the MVP, won the highest football award the school gave out and I was an All-Conference performer my senior year. Well..not before I had to put in the work, sit the bench and be patient.
I’ve been in corporate America for 30 years and have found great success because of the lessons I learned while having to sit the bench for the two years prior to my senior season. Sitting the bench enhanced my life.
Let me put it where the goats can get it. I started playing football at 9 years old for the Gary Steelers. I was born with only one full arm. However, at every level in Pop Warner I was one of the best athletes on my teams. So I started not only on offense but I started on defense and played every down in every single game I’d ever played from age 9 to 13.
When I got to high school I started at defensive back as a freshman on the freshman team. However, as a sophomore I moved back to running back and looked up and I was fourth-team on varsity and second-team JV.
They only dressed the top three positions on road trips. First game of the season when they gave out uniforms and I didn’t receive one. I cried all the way through practice and all the way home because for the first time in my life I was considered a scrub.
When I got home my dad was cutting the grass. He stopped me in the front yard and asked me what was wrong. I explained to him that I didn’t get a uniform. I thought that he would put me in the car, take me back to the school and curse the coaches out like most parents do today and get me a uniform.
He looked at me and said, “Son it ain’t yo time yet! I need for you to do three things. First of all, I need you to get on that bus tomorrow and cheer your team on because you’re still apart of the team, even in your street clothes. Secondly, when you get a uniform for the home games. I need for you to follow the coach around the entire game. Whenever he turns around you need to be the first person that he sees. Lastly, from this day forward DON’T EVER LET ANYONE OUT WORK YOU! That means be the first person at practice and the last to leave. Be number one in EVERY drill and compete like your life depends on it. If you’re good enough to play you’ll eventually play and in the process you’ll learn how to compete in life.”
I didn’t play a down on either varsity or JV my entire sophomore year. I road the bus to every road game in my street clothes and followed the coach up and down the sidelines at home games. However, I out-worked everybody every day. I thought that I should be playing but I trusted the process.
My junior year started and I was second-team playing behind one of the best running backs in the country, Erick Campbell. He eventually went to Michigan and started all four years at defensive back. Six games into my junior season despite me working my butt off I was still following the coach up and down the side line with absolutely no playing time.
Mid-way through Game 6 of 9 games Erick broke his wrist and when the coach turned around, guess who he bumped into? I ran out on the field so fast that I had forgotten what position I was supposed to be playing.
I became the starter at that moment and I was ready both physically and mentally because I’d put in the work and waited my turn. I didn’t tell you that not only did I only have one full arm but I was 5’7″ 140 lbs. My will to compete was developed by sitting on the bench for a year and a half.
I learned how to compete because I had to sit on the bench!! Sitting on the bench at 15 and 16 years old developed a work ethic in me that changed my life forever. I’ve found success in Corporate America NOT because I was better than anyone else. It’s been because I’ve learned how to out work everyone else.
I shouldn’t have been playing at all with one arm and standing 5’7″ 140 lbs. Some kids have the DNA to come right in and start and some don’t. Some have the DNA and it’s just not their time yet. However, the game is trying to teach us all how to navigate life and how to find success in it.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Unless you’ve been blessed with extra special DNA to play pro sports. You’re going to eventually have to get a job like the rest of us. So therefore, you need to learn the lessons that these games are wiling to teach you while you’re playing them.
Transferring from school to school doesn’t change your DNA and it definitely doesn’t enhance your work ethic. As a matter of fact, if you go from not playing at all to starting at the next school your work ethic has decreased because you were just better than the guys you’re competing against now. Who does that help long term? Certainly not you. Stop me when I start lyin’!
