The Jay Graves Report

Arkansas suspends a boy for stealin’ what was already free! “Big Momma Conversations”

"Whatever you do bruh! Don't call Big Momma!"

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” George Orwell tried to get too deep on a boy and shouted, “War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.” Now I’m not sure where that dun was goin’ with that one but he said it. Then Confucius jumped out of the birthday cake butt naked foamin’ at the mouth and spit, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”

Well playas…is it? How about real knowledge is just bein’ able to understand what you know and ignorance just a dun bein’ stupid! Don’t try to make a boy think too much because you’ll always lose the stupid cats. Just like the tight end for the Arkansas Razorbacks that was suspended from the Belk Bowl for stealin’ what was already free at the Belk department store at the bowl site.

They’ve got Arkansas and Virginia Tech in town for the Belk Bowl Game. They took both teams to the Belk department store in Charlotte. They GAVE every dun on both teams a $450 gift card to spend at their leisure. They had 90 minutes in the store to shop. So Jeremy Sprinkle, the Arkansas tight end, decided that $450 wasn’t enough so he took more, got caught, got himself suspended and sent to the crib.

 

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st!  When teams show up to the bowl site they are treated to all kinds of events and given all kinds of free stuff as part of the bowl experience. Some bowls will give a boy a duffle bag full of gifts like a pair of Beats head phones, a Playstation 4, an IPhone, shoes, a jogging suit etc. All in the same bag bruh! It’s ridiculous what they give these kids. It’s like the gift bags that the stars get at the Oscars etc. Plus they pay for EVERYTHING durin’ the visit to the bowl. So in other words, they live like Kings for a week.

However, you have some dun that can’t control himself and has to steal from the store when they’re already givin’ them a $450 pass!!! And that ain’t on the coaches or his parents bruh!! That solely rests on his shoulders because at his age he knows right from wrong.

I know Brent Bielema wanted to just put his foot so deep in that kid’s butt he didn’t know what to do. Oh, and don’t even call Big Momma with that foolishness. Can you imagine what that conversation was like?

Sprinkle: “Uh, Big Momma?” Big Momma: “Yes baby? I can’t wait to see you on TV Thursday. Me and all my church members are gonna watch the game over Deacon Thompson’s house. You know he’s got one of those big screen TV’s with the HD’s on it.” Sprinkle: Uh, Big Momma? I’m not goin’ to play in the game.” Big Momma: “Why not baby? You sick or are you hurt?” Sprinkle: “Naw Big Momma, I, uh, I was stealin’ down here and they suspended me from the game at sent me home.” Big Momma: WHAT!!? Bring yo @$# over here right now! Embarrassin’ me like that. I wanna see you in 10 minutes and brang me something off of that tree out front!” Sprinkle: “I went back to campus Big Momma and I can’t get a ride home.” Big Momma: Well Ima whoop yo %$# the next time I see you. Ya hear!” Sprinkle: Yes Big Momma!”

When the dun got off of the phone Brent Bielema calls and tells him that the school will pay for him to get to Big Momma’s house. “Naw coach don’t do that….” Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

 The caption under the photo isn’t real but it’s REAL talk! 

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