The Jay Graves Report

Why Tom Brady is more myth than G.O.A.T.! “The System”

"C'mon bruh! But I've got all of these though!"

Robert Anton Wilson, the famous author, once said, “Humans live through their myths and only endure their realities.” Ansel Adams, the well-known photographer, gave it to us like this, “Myths and creeds are heroic struggles to comprehend the truth in the world.” Hypatia, the ancient Greek mathematician and astronomer and philosopher, broke it down like this when he spit, “Fables should be taught as fables, myths as myths, and miracles as poetic fantasies. To teach superstitions as truths is a most terrible thing. The child mind accepts and believes them, and only through great pain and perhaps tragedy can he be in after years relieved of them.”

Well playas…the fan mind accepts and believes myths and only through great pain and perhaps tragedy can they be in after years relieved of them. On Thursday night the New England Patriots beat the brakes off of the Houston Texans 27-0 with their third string quarterback, Jacoby Brissett. They’re down to their third team QB because the “Great” Tom Brady has been suspended because of the foolishness that is Deflategate and then the 2nd team dun Jimmy Garoppolo was out due to an injured shoulder!! So with all of that foolishness they are still 3-0 and boyz will argue with me that Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of All-Time!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Tom Brady is more myth than G.O.A.T.!!! Everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson will holler and scream that this dun is probably the greatest quarterback of all-time because he’s been to 6 Super Bowls and won 4 of them. Well playboy that all sounds good but like I’ve been sayin’ for years, Tom Brady is more the result of the system than he is G.O.A.T.!

Oh I’m talkin’ crazy? Think back to the season opener in 2008 when the dun went down with a torn ACL and MCL in the first quarter after gettin’ blasted by the Chiefs Bernard Pollard. Ole boy was done for the season and some unknown cat named Matt Cassel walked out on the field. They needed dental records to identify that dun. Now keep in mind that he hadn’t started a football game since he was a freakin’ senior in high school. He didn’t start a single game in college because he sat behind Matt Leinart at USC and he’d been in the league for 3 years hangin’ out watchin’ Tom Brady take all of the snaps.

So with a cat that hadn’t played a meaningful minute of football since high school the New England Patriots won 11 freakin’ ball games that year bruh! They went 11-5!Really? Stop it! You sound crazy!! That’s called the system! Not the quarterback!! Why? Because Matt Cassel got his money up by playin’ in that system and robbed a boy for $30 million in free agency and hasn’t done jack squat since.

Yes, Brady has actually won 4 Super Bowls and gone to 6 but that doesn’t make him the G.O.A.T. or anything close to the G.O.A.T.! Not when there are cats like Joe Montana, Peyton Manning, Dan Marino, Otto Grahm, John Elway,Johnny Unitas etc. that have played the game.

If Elmer Fudd can just show up and win 11 games in that system then a better quarterback can take a boy to the Super Bowl and win it. Bruh, Jim McMahon and Trent Dilfer have won Super Bowls and they were HORRIBLE quarterbacks. Well…McMahon was a great leader and he could at least throw the long ball from time to time to Willie Gault but Dilfer was truly horrible. So tellin’ me that a boy won a Super Bowl doesn’t say too much. Especially, if the system is NUTS that he’s playin’ in. If anybody is the G.O.A.T. it’s Bill Belichick!!

Dan Marino didn’t win one at all but he was probably the most talented quarterback from a skill set stand point ever.

So fastforward to today. The Patriots are 3-0 with some dun named Jacoby Brissett! You wouldn’t recognize him if he ran up on you and stole your wallet. Not only did they beat the Texans! They beat the brakes off of them with a 23 year old quarterback that can barely tie his shoes. IT’S THE SYSTEM!!! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.