CHARLOTTE, NC.–The No.1 overall seed who’d been the best team in the NATION playin’ in the best conference in America winnin’ that conference by four games got the dog snot beaten out of them 74-54 on Friday night by the worst team in the NCAA Tournament, the No.16 seeded UMBC Retrievers. For y’all that’s checkin’ that the University of Maryland Baltimore County Retrievers. I didn’t even know there was a University of Maryland Baltimore County bruh!!
That’s a freakin’ commuter campus!! That means that they probably still live at home with their momma’s and are used to changin’ clothes in the bathroom down the hall for basketball practice. Dorms? What!!? They road the darn city bus to the arena on Friday night playa.
UVA showed up and became apart of history on the wrong end playboy. They became the first No.1 seed in the HISTORY of the NCAA Tournament to go down to a 16 seed. Before Friday night, 16 seeds were 0-135 in this tournament.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If you play that game another 100 times Virginia would win all 100 of them goin’ away. However, that’s not the way it works. You’ve got to show up on the appointed night and win it when they say you’ve got to play it. Not next week or next year or whenever you think Big Momma or Lil’ Elbow, Man-Man and Ray Ray nem are in the buildin’. Naw playa, you’ve got to show up and play it when they say play it. There are no do overs.
Now UVA has to be the runnin’ joke of the NCAA Tournament FOREVER!!! Why? Because I can GUARANTEE you that nobody else is goin’ to walk through the hood sound sleep like the Cavaliers did on Friday night. Big Momma tried to warn a boy when he left the house early Friday mornin’ tryin’ to catch that 5th and Colfax headed downtown. “Make sure you keep your head on a swivel baby. You know it can be dangerous out here in these streets.” But he was like, “Ma I got this!!! Ain’t nobody gone mess with me out here. My rep is strong in the hood. They know me out here like what! Plus boyz of my stature are 135-0 in these streets. Naw dukes I’m good!”
Then duns in their uncle’s beat up Chevy came out of nowhere and drug him into the bushes and took everything off of him; sneakers, jewelry, lunch money and most importantly his dignity. Now he can’t ever walked the streets and get the same level of respect again. Not EVER!!!
I don’t care how big and bad he gets goin’ forward. A boy is ALWAYS goin’ to bring up “Yeah I remember when you got the dog snot beaten out of you in front of everybody and their baby’s momma after school.”
Virginia wet the ultimate bed bruh. They had only given up 53 points per game all season long and allowed some commuter campus-type cats put up 53 in the second half!!! Wheredeydodatat?
They literally pulled up at the light, opened the windows to the ride, unlocked all of the doors, turned the music up on full blast, held the keys out of the window and fell asleep at the wheel in middle of Compton at 3am. They didn’t get robbed! They gave the whip away.
Bruh, they got beat by some duns called the Retrievers!!! The RETRIEVERS? They literally just made that foolishness up on the way to the game. They were like, “What are we goin’ to call ourselves?” And some fool in the back seat puttin’ his uniform on said, “The Retrievers!!” And because they were runnin’ late they were like, “Aight bet!” That’s like gettin’ beat up by a cat named Waldo with horned rimmed glasses with tape holdin’ them together. They can’t ever go home. Well… they could but they’ll be runnin’ home tryin’ to keep all the young hustlers from goin’ into their pockets every day. “What chu got on my drink playboy?” Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) 5th and Colfax: noun – a city bus on a particular route
3) Dukes: noun – short for Ma Dukes which is simply a reference to a person’s mother
4) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
5) Wheredeydodatat?: Hood for “Who does that?”
6) Whip: noun – a luxury vehicle
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!