The Jay Graves Report

Why Indiana University has to have the worse Athletic Director in America! “Openin’ Night”

"I really don't know what I'm doin' bruh! Somebody told me to fake it 'til I make it but now what?

Dr. Phil once said, “Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right.” Well playas…the duns down at Indiana University seem to NEVER make the right decisions at least when it comes to the athletic department. On Friday the schedule for the openin’ weekend of the 2017 College Football Season was announced and IU will open up at the crib against Ohio State!

Not Miami of Ohio or Ohio University but THEE Ohio State Buckeyes! The same duns that played in the College Football Playoff last year. Yes playa, that Ohio State! Forget about payin’ some cupcake to drag up and down the field. They’ve decided in Bloomington that they would rather BE the cupcake gettin’ drug up and down the field on NATIONAL television on ESPN at 8pm on August 31 to kick the freakin’ season off. THE GAME THAT EVERYBODY AND THEIR BABY’S MOMMA WILL BE WATCHING BECAUSE IT’S THE FIRST ONE OF THE SEASON!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! They’ve already fired the best coach they’ve had in more than 26 years because of what Fred Glass called  “philosophical differences.” Kevin Wilson was the first coach to take them to consecutive bowl games since 1990-91. Then they fired the dun for whatever reason.

So let me get this straight. You’ve got a brand new coach, after finally gettin’ back to consecutive bowl games and your confidence is so swollen that you schedule Ohio State right out of the gate? And I don’t wanna hear this foolishness that the schedule was put together several years ago before all of this foolishness happened.

I don’t care if the schedule was put together when I graduated in 1990!!! IU has NEVER been good enough to open the season with a real team!! Let alone one of the best teams in America. Wheredeydodatat?

Fred Glass needs to get pushed out of the ride like ole Eddie Kan Jr. for this foolishness. Does he not know how bad the program is goin’ to look gettin’ the brakes beaten off of them openin’ night? Does he not know that whatever potential “on the fence recruits” they’ve been courtin’ all summer is goin’ to run for cover after Ohio State finishes pullin’ their large and small intestines out?

A program like IU has to open up with duns like Indiana State, Kent State, or just good old fashioned Booty State or something crazy like that. OHIO STATE bruh? I could even see some duns like Vanderbilt or Kentucky but OHIO STATE with Urban Myer? I need everybody in the athletic department to step away from the table and give me a urine sample.

I’m an IU grad and I’m fired up because the Hoosiers just proved my point that they are cool with bein’ sorry forever. When you’re a program like IU you’ve got to start off with four cupcakes every season. That way you only have to win 2 conference games to go to a bowl. You’re never goin’ to get to the point where playin’ weak non-conference games is goin’ to hurt your resume. Why? Because you’re not ever goin’ to be good enough to play for national title. Stop it!! So NOBODY cares bruh!!

But at least goin’ .500 would get folks like myself to show up on Saturdays to see them play. I’m never goin’ to Bloomington to see at team go 1-11 and I’m not the only person thinkin’ that way playa. And they’re guaranteed to start the season with an “L” especially the way Ohio State got blasted in the College Football Playoff against Clemson last year. They’ll show up in Bloomington lookin’ to eat everything wearin’ Crimson and Cream. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Ole Eddie Kane Jr: noun – character in the movie “The Five Heartbeats” that was kicked out of the group for not handlin’ his business.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!

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