The Jay Graves Report

Why DeShone Kizer needs to worry about gettin’ drafted first! “Slow Ya Roll”


Every media-type in the business has been dissectin’ DeShone Kizer’s comments made to USA Today on Thursday when he compared himself to Tom Brady and Cam Newton. Ole boy said to imagine Tom Brady’s intellect  and Cam’s body. Well…don’t get me to lyin’ bruh, here’s exactly what the dun said in context word for word:

“Name a college quarterback who goes into the game-plan meetings on Monday and throws his notes at the coaches. No one else game plans the way I do. No one else prepares the way I do. No one else knows football the way I do. No one else is as big as I am. No one else is as powerful a runner as I am. Pat Mahomes might throw the ball 80 yards and I can only throw the ball 72, but I guarantee he can’t throw an out route the way I can. No one else can do what I can do. And I’ve truly figured out in this process, if I can maximize all my potential in every aspect of the game – this is bold – I do have the ability to be the greatest quarterback to ever play. Imagine taking Brady’s intellect and Brady’s preparation and putting it on a guy with Cam Newton’s body. Why can’t I be the greatest? The only thing stopping me from it is me. That’s what’s driving me now.”

Now let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Pull a Snoop Dogg real quick and back up off of him and set your cup down. The dun is a typical kid tryin’ to sell himself to every scout and GM in the business. However, we call what that dun did was doin’ too much. He’s sellin’ the farm when all he’s got is an acre or two.

On some real talk, he should have stayed at Notre Dame. He’s comin’ out way too early and he knows that, that’s why he’s doin’ way too much of a sales job and soundin’ crazy. He’s not even projected to be taken until the middle of the third round bruh. That dun should have stayed in school and kept it movin’ because there are no guarantees playa.

Now I completely get what he was tryin’ to say but you can’t compare yourself to potentially the greatest quarterback to ever play the game and another cat that is at least one of the best physical specimens in sports.

Slow down playboy. You haven’t even been drafted yet!! Then you’ve got to make somebody’s team. Stop with the foolishness.

Ole boy only started for two seasons at Notre Dame after Malik Zaire got hurt in 2015 and he ended up gettin’ benched later in the season last year bruh.  So why on earth would a boy jump out of the birthday cake and compare anything on his body or mind to anybody playin’ in the NFL?

How bout you slow your roll bruh and worry about gettin’ your name called first before become the greatest quarterback to play in the NFL. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) A Snoop Dogg: verb phrase – I’m referrin’ to the lyrics of his famous song Gin and Juice.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!