The Jay Graves Report

Why Derrick Rose needs to enroll in the Juwan Howard School of Stealin’ NBA Money ASAP! “Argyle Socks

Derrick Rose is seriously thinkin' about walkin' away from bread he's already earned. Photo: Sporting News

Boyz have been takin’ bets all season as to how long Derrick Rose was goin’ to last in Cleveland. Well playas, he didn’t last through freakin’ Thanksgiving. Reports are comin’ out of Cleveland is that the dun is away from the team tryin’ to figure out what he wants to do.

In other words, he’s contemplatin’ retirin’ at only 29 years old because he’s missed 11 of 18 games this season, includin’ the past seven with a sprained left ankle. I didn’t say he was down with a dislocated shoulder or a torn ACL or MCL or anything like that. The dun is down with a sprained ankle bruh.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! He only makin’ the veteran’s minimum of $2.1 million this year. So relatively speakin’ he’s not walkin’ away from major bread for him. However, he’s got six years and $70 million left on his $200 million Adidas deal.

Here’s how it works playboy. As long as he’s in the league Adidas is obligated to keep kickin’ D. Rose shoes out and he gets the bread that they owe him. If he retires then he forfeits the remainder of the contract. So common sense says keep gettin’ money right?

It’s not like Cleveland needs him to play heavy minutes. He’s only goin’ to be playin’ 17 or 18 minutes a night because Isaiah Thomas is about to come back. Nobody’s askin’ him to be the man anymore. All he’ll be doin’ is  keepin’ the water out of the boat.

Did these young cats not learn anything from Juwan Howard? That dun stole money in the NBA for at least 8 years bruh without ski mask. I bet half of the time he didn’t even take his street clothes off. He just put his warm up on and ran out on there floor. I swear I saw that dun in some argyle socks one night with his dress slacks hangin’ out of the bottom of his joints. He got all the Gatorade he could drink and he had great seats. What more could you ask for?

Why leave bread that you’ve already earned on the table? That’s like takin’ points off of the board!!! What sense does that make? At the bare minimum sit on the end of a boyz bench for the next six years and collect the $70 million from Adidas and whatever some fool is willin’to pay him in the league. Doin’ anything else would be uncivilized.

Remember when he tried to dip on New York and then came back with some foolishness on his lips? Here’s what he told them bruh, “That was a family issue. For one, it had nothing to do with the team or basketball. But that’s the first time I ever felt like that emotionally, and I had to be with my family.” 

Listen to that foolishness! It sounds like he was ready to dip and a boy talked him off of the roof. Somebody sat him down and explained to him what the Adidas money actually looked like.  Now he’s back on the roof. So will somebody please enroll him in the Juwan Howard School of Stealin’ NBA Money ASAP? Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Dip: verb – to leave

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!