The Jay Graves Report

No.1 Ben Davis held a track meet durin’ the North Central Game! “Keepin’ it in the Road!”

When Ben Davis suited up nine weeks ago the goal was to win them all. Well playboy…everybody’s goal is to win them all but very few cats actually see it to fruition. Not only had they won them all up to this point but they’ve been beaten the brakes off of everybody in their path.  So on Friday night North Central got off of the bus hopin’ for a miracle, like maybe Ben Davis would have forgotten that it was a game tonight.

Then all of a sudden some these duns ran out of the locker room rockin’ the funkiest purple uniforms and they had crazy swag too! Then as the old timers used to say, “You out here now! What chu gone do now?” By the time the North Central boyz looked up they were gettin’ back on the bus after gettin’ drug 58-14.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! These cats from Ben Davis are just way too much! They’re literally playin’ like they’ve got the cheat codes or somethin’! They’ve got too many weapons on the field for any one team to stop. They literally sprinted through these boyz like wet toilet paper. Big Momma blinked and it was 15-0 after one quarter. Then she went to the restroom to fix her wig and it was 37-0 at the half.

With 9:30 left in the third quarter Coach Kirshner called off the dogs and sent in, his mind, the back ups. The only problem with that is that he’s got 53 seniors bruh!!! So they came in and wrecked shop just like the starters. It’s too much bruh and I know North Central’s got a headache just tryin’ to keep up with these boyz.

Reese Taylor finished the night 9 of 12 for 147 yards and 2 touchdowns makin’ it look easy. His receivin’ corp was NUTS!! The MONSTER, Broc Thompson, was not playin’ games on Friday night!! He ran off in the joint and snatched 4 balls out of the air for 75 yards and two touchdowns.  KeSean Tunstill showed, like my momma used to say, his bare bottom finishin’ with 2 catches for 53 yards and a touchdown.

Not only did the receivin’ corp put on the clown shoes but the runnin’ backs put on the water spittin’ flower and had the whoopee cushion too. Johnny Adams had just 6 carries for 105 yards. Delbert Mimms hit a boy up with 2 carries for 73 yards and a TD. Wherededodatat? Joey Person jumped out of the whip and carried it 7 times for 50 yards and 2 TD’s. Then Ali Allen picked up the rock one time and went the distance for a touchdown of 34 yards. Will somebody call the darn police bruh? That’s got to be assault.

Like I keep sayin’, the only way this team loses is if they tie their shoes together and play with blindfolds on. The biggest challenge for Coach Kirshner is to keep them humble and focused on the goal at hand and that’s winnin’ a state title. Here’s what he had to say after the ball game.

Good luck coach and keep it in the road! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for “Who does that?”

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!