The Jay Graves Report

Cam’s teammates cryin’ over hard hits but he took it like a G! “Check”

Lao Tzu once said, “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” Soren Kierkegaard gave it to us like this, “Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” Nikos Kazantzakis put it where the goats could get it when he spit, “Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.”

Well playas…Cam Newton’s teammates were whinin’ about ole boy not gettin’ calls on Thursday night for some head to head hits that he took. Carolina linebacker, Thomas Davis, was salty after the “L” and had this to say, “Early in the game, a guy took two, three steps and hit him in the head and they didn’t call a penalty.” Then his tight end, Greg Olson, startin’ cryin’ with, “I know he’s the biggest guy on the field, but he’s still the quarterback. We’ll see what some of those [helmet-to-helmet hits] look like. Obviously, we got one of them, but we didn’t get many yards off of it.”

Listen up pimpin’, the reality is, he really did take some hard hits durin’ the 21-20 loss to the defendin’ Super Bowl champs. But let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Cam Newton could have avoided many of those collisions  if he’d simply gotten rid of the football bruh! Yeah, I know boyz wanna whoof that their man was unfairly treated but he’s the dun holdin’ on to the football. What do you expect a dun on defense to do when Cam’s runnin’ all willy nilly around the darn field? And that’s the edited version. I would have taken a shot or two at that dun too. That’s what boyz get paid to do!!

Now I will say this, I loved the way he handled the post-game presser because boyz were feedin’ him the opportunity to criticize the officiatin’ crew. However, he hollered at them like a G and kept it movin’!

When asked, ole boy simply said, “It’s not my place to question the officials. I really like the officiating crew. It wasn’t something I know they did intentionally, but it’s not fun getting hit in the head. We didn’t lose the game off that. I know that for a fact.”

Game 1 down! Check! Test with the dull media down! Check! Check!  Cuz you already know boyz were waitin’ for him to show up poutin’ like a stray dog in the suburbs. Why? Because he was dull at the Super Bowl post-game presser.

Cam just needs to know that boyz are comin’ for him in 2016 and he’d better learn how to get rid of the football sooner rather than later! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.