The Jay Graves Report

Calvin Johnson gave the media a real answer and now they’re upset that he didn’t lie! “WHAT!!!?”

"It's real life playboy!" Photo: AP Photo/Rick Osentoski

Cavlin Johnson A.K.A. Megatron was in Italy last week to present the game ball for Italian Bowl XXXVII. It’s the American football championship game over there. A reporter asked the dun about his early retirement after 9 years in the league and if he’d ever thought about switchin’ teams. Ole boy put it where the goats could get it when he said,

“Of course, I thought about it. Just like in basketball, you know, guys, they create these superteams. But it’s not quite like that in football where I had the freedom just to go. I was stuck in my contract with Detroit, and they told me, they would not release my contract, so I would have to come back to them. I didn’t see the chance for them to win a Super Bowl at the time, and for the work I was putting in, it wasn’t worth my time to keep on beating my head against the wall and not going anywhere. It’s the definition of insanity.” 

So the dun asked him again if playin’ for the Lions was the reason he retired and he said, “Yes, and the body.”

Ole boy kept it real, so let me keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! These fake media-types always say that they want boyz to just give them a real answer. Everybody and their baby’s momma in this business is always sayin’ “I hate the standard answer from these pro athletes! I want a real answer for cryin’ out loud!” Then when a dun tells them the truth and gives them a real answer they’re pissed!

I don’t know how many cats I heard today on various radio shows sayin’ that they didn’t like what Megatron said. One cat said that Johnson was bein’ a coward for leavin’ and givin’ that excuse. Then out of the same mouth this cat said that he should have just said that he was retirin’ because of the CTE threat to players even though we all would have known that it was a lie. WHAT!!!??

C’mon bruh!!! Stop with this foolishness!! That man has a right to retire for whatever reason he wants. If he no longer wanted to go to work everyday to lose with the Lions then that’s his Bobby Brown! His Prerogative. Why do you think Barry Sanders just got up off of the ground one day and dipped? Now he’ll never tell you but I bet that dun got up one mornin’ and was like, “Maaaaaaaan!! I’m tired of gettin’ my butt whooped with these sorry tail Lions! And for what?” And that’s the edited version!!!

These fake media-types kill me sayin’ one thing and meanin’ another. If real answers are what you’re lookin’ for then don’t get mad when a boy gives you what you came huntin’ for. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

3) Dip: verb – to leave

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!