BOSTON, MA. — There were actually boyz out here askin’ the question, “Who will win the coachin’ match up between Ty Lue and Brad Stevens?” Those are duns that haven’t watched a stitch of basketball in probably five years. If all this series was goin’ to come down to was coachin’ we wouldn’t have to watch it. Well playas…Game 1 actually came down to that. The Celtics did work on the Cavs and beat the dog snot off of them 108-83 as they did masterful work. Now don’t get it twisted, it was only one game but it was excellent work.
When Solomon pinned Proverbs 30:18-20 he stated, “There are three things that amaze me— no, four things that I don’t understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman.” If he’d been watchin’ this game he would have added “How Jaylen Brown completely destroyed Cleveland in the first half in front of Big Momma and Uncle Elbow nem.
Ole boy put up 18 of his 23 points in the first half while strippin’ them butt naked on defense. Marcus Morris finished with a solid 21 points and 10 rebounds after talkin’ a little pregame trash. Al Horford held them down with 20.
Brad Stevens’ homeboyz jumped out of the ride shootin’ like some gangstas in the projects at 65 percent from the field and the darn Cavs were out there blind folded and dizzy shootin’ 21 percent as Boston went up 29-9 out of the gate. By the end of the first quarter the Celtics were up 36-18.
Jaylen Brown and Al Horford were goin’ nuts for the home team scorin’ 13 and 11 points respectively. Only LeBron and Kevin Love decided to get off of the bus for the Cavs in the first quarter. They had 5 and 4 points apiece while the rest of those duns were sittin’ around watchin’ the game. No other starter scored a point by the end of quarter one.
Midway through the second quarter the Cavs were 0-10 from behind the arc and Boston was gettin’ everything they wanted wherever they wanted. At the half the Celtics were up 61-35 and the Cavs were now 0-12 from behind the arc while Boston while shot 60 percent from field and 41 percent from three.
LeBron got to the break with 7 points settlin’ for darn jumpers instead of bullyin’ boyz to the rack. In return they gave up 34 points in the paint in the first half alone.
Cleveland didn’t knock down a three-pointer until the 8 minute mark of third on a Korver jumper and then the very next possession George Hill knocked another one down. After lookin’ like they were afraid of Debo in the first half. The Cavs scored 29 points in the third period to cut a 28 point deficit in half after only puttin’ up 35 in the entire first half.
However, let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Once a boy jumps all you over out of the gate in the playoff at home. It’s darn near impossible to come back and win. Ty Lue should have taken his darn t-shirt off midway through the second quarter, tied it to a stick and waved it. He was freakin’ overwhelmed and out coached from the onset of the game. Ole boy finally waved his t-shirt at about the 7 minute mark when he sat LeBron down.
I’ve been sayin’ that Golden State is the only dun the NBA that seems to have the five smooth stones and a sling shot to slow down that Philistine. Well playas…Brad Stevens proved to boyz on Sunday that he may at least have 1 smooth stone in his pocket right now.
Ole boy was like the puppet master controllin’ every aspect of the game. His team played excellent defense and they couldn’t miss. He turned the Cavs into a jump shootin’ team and they fell for the Oakey Doke, He even convinced the best player on the planet that he needed to settle for jumpers all night. He only had four buckets in the paint.
If LeBron has a flaw in his game it’s his basketball IQ, It’s so high that he’s always lookin’ to make the right basketball play instead of just bein’ selfish enough to keep the darn ball and tellin’ everybody else to get out of the way. Today would have been one of those days. But I guess he knows better than any of use how to get to the Finals. So Game 1 wasn’t that deep. In his mind there are 6 more games to this foolishness.
It’s only one game but Brad Stevens marked his territory and it should be a great to see how the Philistine responds. Stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.
3) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo is real talk today!