The ONLY reason cats watch All-Star Saturday Night is for the Dunk Contest!! Period, Point Blank!!! Nobody cares about the Skills Challenge or the Three-Point Contest and NEVER have. It’s like showin’ up to the Ali/Frazier or the Mayweather/Pacquiao fight and sittin’ through the undercards. Get this foolishness out of the way and let’s get to the Main Event.
The only problem with this All-Star Saturday Night was that we had to sit through the undercards to watch one of the worse Dunk Contests EVER!!! What blows my mind is that there are 491 players in the NBA and the only four cats signed up for this foolishness?
Out of all the duns in the league all they could come up with was the Jazz’s Donovan Mitchell, Larry Nance Jr. from Cleveland, Indiana’s Victor Oladipo and Dennis Smith Jr. from Dallas? Really bruh? Remember when the best dunkers in the league would participate in the Dunk Contest? Now cats are too cool to get in.
Remember when Jordan and Dominique would battle? There were cats like Dr. Dunkenstein (Darrell Griffith), Vince Carter or Blake Griffin would bring the house down because they were known as showmen durin’ regular season games as dunkers!! Now these young cats are too cool to get into the dunk contest because they’re protectin’ their brands or whatever.
Why aren’t cats like LeBron or Young Russ never in it? Why aren’t elite players participatin’ in this foolishness and we’re forced to sit through boyz doin’ dunks from 1984.
Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Donovan Mitchell won the joint doin’ absolutely nothin’ that was amazin’. Be bounced the ball off of a second backboard and did a windmill. For his second dunk he put on a Dr. Dunkenstein throw back jersey, missed the first dunk and then jumped over some duns that were bent over that was already 5’2″ and won the joint!!! At least jump over some cats standin’ straight up that are average height.
Then Larry Nance Jr. gets out there and wastes everybody’s time with the change up guy to change from his Cavs joint into his old man, Larry Nance’s, Suns jersey. Keep in mind that his dad won the inaugural Dunk Contest in 1984 with the rock the cradle joint. So he replicates that. However, the only problem with doin’ that in the Dunk Contest today is that it’s no longer special. EVERYBODY AND THEIR BABY’S MOMMA can do the rock the cradle 34 years later!!! Duns on the playground in the projects are doin’ the rock the cradle durin’ pick up games right now. He did it in the DUNK CONTEST in 2018. He should have been escorted out of the buildin’ for that foolishness.
And what was Victor Oladipo doin’? Wastin’ everybody’s time!! He missed all three dunks in the first round and then got everybody hyped by gettin’ the “Black Panther” mask from the Black Panther himself, Chadwick Boseman, and ran up there and missed the darn dunk.
I could hear Big Momma as soon as he missed it, “If you don’t go sit yo @## down!! You out here wastin’ these peoples time. They “un” put their clothes on to see you and you out here playin’!”
The best dunk of the night came from Dennis Smith Jr. when he went between his legs to his left hand goin’ away from the basket and popped a 50 but it took him two attempts to hit it. Unfortunately, his first dunk was pack of wet firecrackers when he did a rudy-poot double-pump reverse and only got a 39.
Again, this was the foolishness that we had to sit through. Today’s athletes are bigger, stronger and faster than they’ve EVER been and this was the product they give us to watch on All-Star Saturday Night in 2018. SMH and stop me when I start lyin’!
Playas Thesaurus:
1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.
2) Ole boy: noun – the person that I’m currently talkin’ about.
3) Rudy-poot: adjective – awful, sorry, lame
4) un: verb – to experience or undergo
The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”
The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!