The Jay Graves Report

Why the Finals isn’t as cut and dry as Vegas thinks! “Mike Brown vs The Philistine”

Mike: "What chu think dawg?" LeBron: "Well...I know what I think! What chu think?"

Everybody in my world is headed to Oakland for Thursday night’s openin’ tip of the NBA Finals! Every fan in the basketball world has already locked their television on ABC for a 9pm Eastern tip!!! In the famous words of Chris Brown, “It’s On and Poppin’!”

For the first time in NBA history we’ve got the same two teams buttin’ heads for the third straight time in the Finals! Golden State and Cleveland!! That’s NUTS!!! You’ve got the marksmanship of Golden State shootin’ at boyz like snipers off of the roof at the Carter and the power and grace of that Philistine leadin’ the Cavs’ charge with the handles and versatility of Kyrie and long range shootin’ of Kevin Love. Don’t sleep on the contributions of duns like Tristan Thompson and the other cats comin’ out of the bushes!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! On paper the Warriors look like the team to beat because they’ve added KD to a lineup of beasts shootin’ the rock. Steph, Klay, Day-Day and KD make it real difficult to defend. I know that duns like Pachulia are in the ride too but the other four is what makes the engine purr.

Unless you’ve been under a rock for the past month you should know that they’ve been sprintin’ through boyz in the playoffs and are now 12-0 pullin’ into the garage bumpin’ that Too Short “Born to Mack” album. Steph is leadin’ the way by averagin’ 28.6 ppg with KD right behind him with 25.2 ppg durin’ these playoffs with Klay and Day-Day droppin’ off 14 apiece!! They spread the floor better than any team I’ve ever seen in the league bruh! Say it with me, “That’s a Problem!!” 

Then you’ve got the Cavs comin’ in bumpin’ that Bone Thugs N Harmony “The Art of War” joint led by that Philistine!!! I’ve been tellin’ boyz that unless you’ve got five smooth stones and a sling shot you might be in for some problems. He’s havin the best playoffs of his career so far and his leadership is nuts right now.

I know that Vegas has Golden State as the favorite but there are factors in this series that boyz are overlookin’! Golden State has no bench. When they were makin’ moves to pick up the homie KD they got rid of key pieces that made them so dangerous this time of year. There’s no more Harrison Barnes or Leandro Barbosa knockin’ down shots when boyz needed a break. There is no more Andrew Bogut to protect the rim. That’s a problem in the Finals!

Sure, they’ve been sprintin’ through boyz up to this point but now those factors come into play. AND THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM THAT NOBODY SEES RIGHT NOW IS POTENTIALLY NO STEVE KERR ON THE SIDELINES! That’s a huge problem bruh! As of today Kerr is out for Game 1 and the others games are day to day.

The “LeBron Factor” and potentially no Steve Kerr has even things out. Mike Brown can’t coach his way out of a paper bag in a rain storm drastically changes things. You’re playin’ against the same dun that led both teams in every statistical category in the Finals last year. Oh and just in case you forgot he led both teams in points, rebounds, assists, blocks and steals and he’s gotten better.

His supportin’ cast is ballin’ right now and they’re gettin’ out of the ride 12-1 in these playoffs. So it’s not like they’re barely pullin’ up. I think the “Mike Brown Factor” will be the decidin’ factor in this series bruh. If he isn’t put into a situation where he has to coach down the stretch of games the Warriors will win this series. If LeBron can somehow keep the Cavs in ball games down the stretch then the Cavs will win the series. Stay tuned on Wednesday for my prediction of the outcome of this all out foolishness that’s about to take place on Thursday. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) The Carter: noun – the apartment buildin’ in the movie New Jack City that the drug dealer Nino Brown stationed snipers on the roof to keep watch.

3) Comin’ out of the bushes: verb phrase – comin’ off of the bench.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!