The Jay Graves Report

Why the darn Colts will be lucky to score three touchdowns all season bruh! “O-fer”

"Y'all makin' this look too easy bruh!" (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)

Colts: “Hey Big Momma I’m goin’ to LA this weekend to play football.” Big Momma: “Oh yeah baby! Well have fun! That shouldn’t be too difficult. The sisters at the church say they ain’t nothin’! They lost six in a row to end the season last year. As a matter of fact baby, they lost 11 of their last 12 games. Sister Harper told me that they went out and got the youngest head coach in modern NFL history and this is his first game coachin’. She told me that the dun was only 31 years old and that the quarterback they got is 0-7 as a starter. I’m sho gone be watchin’ baby because y’all should beat the doors off of them even without that Luck boy. You know that’s sister Maureen’s grand baby don’t cha? Colts: “Yes ma’am.” 

Well playas…even with the confidence of Big Momma behind them the Colts still went out to LA and got the brakes beaten off of them by the dull Los Angeles Rams 46-9. They made the darn Rams look like a Super Bowl contender and they ain’t worth two dead flies smashed. They made rookie head coach Sean McVay look like freakin’ Bill Belichick or Vince Lomdardi or somebody. C’mon bruh 46 points!!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! How do you let a dun that has NEVER won a football game as a starter put up 306 yards and throw a touchdown on you? Wheredeydodatat? Jared Goff is horrible and he looked like a darn Pro Bowler against the Colts defense.

The Indianapolis Colts looked like the darn Bad News Bears out there bruh. Scott Tolzien throws a pick six on his first pass to send that joint into a tailspin from the word go. Then he throws another pick six just to make sure you didn’t miss the first one. I think Big Momma was on the toilet when he threw the first one so he had to make sure that she saw that foolishness.

I believe the big homie Bob Kravitz did a survey of Colts fans durin’ the pre-season and asked whether they would approve of Colin Kaepernick bein’ signed or not and 70 percent of them said no way would they want him on their team. He should have asked the question, “Would you rather one of the worse teams in the league beat the brakes off of you in front of Big Momma and the sisters of the church with a rookie head coach that can barely drive legally in 24 states and an 0-7 startin’ QB or sign Colin Kaepernick?

I think they’d go for the latter playboy. Forty-six points against the dull Rams?!! They’ll be lucky to score three touchdowns all season bruh and they won’t win a darn game! And that’s the edited version! Because they can stop lyin’ to folks about Andrew Luck comin’ back any time soon. I doubt that he even suits up this year. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Wheredeydodatat: Hood for “Who does that?”

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!