The Jay Graves Report

Why Nick Saban is bein’ treated like a sloppy O.G. by Jim Harbaugh! “The Block”

Jim: “Yeah I’m comin’ for ya bruh! Believe that! Nick: “No fair! I run the south!”

Thomas Fuller, the English churchman and historian, once said, “We ought to see far enough into a hypocrite to see even his sincerity.” Tennessee Williams, the famous playwright, gave it to us like this, “The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that’s also a hypocrite!” Then William Hazlitt, the English writer,  put it where the goats could get it when he spit, “The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.” 

Well playas…it looks like ole Nick Saban forgot that he and his staff were human on Tuesday when he tried to blast boyz, specifically Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh on the use of satellite camps. Durin’ the SEC spring meetings this dun, Nick, jumped out of the birthday cake butt naked and foamin’ at the mouth hollerin’: 

This is the wild, wild West at its best. There have been no specific guidelines relative to how we’re managing control of this stuff. It’s happening outside the normal evaluation window, which means we’re taking time away from our players. We have to worry about our players doing the right things with the limited time we have them, but we’re not going to do that because we have to be somewhere else to see someone else.”

Well let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Alabama has been runnin’ college football since 2009 rattlin’ off 4 National Championships. Therefore, he’s so used to killin’ boyz in the south in the recruitin’ game that he’s offended that Harbaugh is not willin’ to bow down to him like the rest of these duns out here. However, he wants to act like he forgot that he just had a coach resign for committin’ NCAA recruitin’ rules violations. Stop it! You sound crazy!!! 

Since Harbaugh took over at Michigan he’s been holdin’ satellite camps in the south to get in on all of that talent down there. He even turned his nose up at the SEC and held Michigan spring practice durin’ spring break in FLORIDA! 

So when Nick started talkin’ crazy on Tuesday Jim fired a tweet his way that said, “Amazing” to me- Alabama broke NCAA rules & now their HC is lecturing us on the possibility of rules being broken at camps. Truly “amazing.”

That’s what you call “I don’t give a “WHAT” about what you think about what I’m doin’! I’m tryin’ to win just like you patna! This is Michigan Football! The winningest college football program in the history of the game bruh! If it’s legal for us to hold the satellite camps then we’ll be in yo backyard playa!” 

Nick needs to go sit his butt down somewhere and stop actin’ brand new. He’s the “O.G. Bobby Johnson” of college football runnin’ the block and has straight up forgot how the block works. When you become the man in the streets it’s only so much time before some cats steps up to you to take what you’ve got. Sometimes they’ll set you up and other times they’ll let you know that they’re comin’ for your head while lookin’ you in the eye. 

Well bruh, Jim Harbaugh is just lettin’ Nick know that he’s comin’ through the front door on a boy. And you know what playa? I’m cool with that! I’ve got TALL respect for Harbaugh for doin’ it. You can’t let a boy get too comfortable bein’ the O.G. because he’ll get sloppy and put everybody in the streets in danger. Stop me when I start lyin’! 

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific. 

3) O.G. Bobby Johnson: noun – character in the movie South Central that was the older gangster that used to run the streets that is locked up now. 

4) What: noun – the edited version of whatever you wanna put there playa! 

5) Patna: noun – hood for partner, friend etc.