The Jay Graves Report

Why Lamar Jackson’s goin’ to need counseling ASAP bruh! “BMOC”

"Oh, we gettin' it in playa! And wait until we get back from Clemson this weekend!"

Soren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, once said, “Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.” Earl Nightingale, the radio personality, broke it down like this, “The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominant thoughts.” Then James Allen, the British philosophical writer, put it where the goats could get when he spit, “You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.”

Well playas…Louisville’s Lamar Jackson has literally become as great as his dominant aspiration in the first four weeks of the season! He’s taken over the college football landscape like Cleo in “Set It Off!” The average sports fan or for that matter, the average college football fan didn’t even know his name a month ago. Now he’s the Heisman favorite headin’ into Death Valley on Saturday lookin’ for some “respeck” on his name like Birdman at the Breakfast Club!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! This dun has literally jumped out of the birthday cake on a boy butt naked goin’ to work!! In just 4 games he’s put up 1330 yards passin’, 526 yards rushin’ and scored 25 touchdowns!!! Wheredeydodatat?

If he goes into Clemson and shows out he’s gonna need counselin’ first thing Monday mornin’. Do you realize the attention that he’s already gettin’ through 4 weeks and how it’s goin’ to explode Saturday night once he get’s back to the yard? Seriously bruh!! I’m dead serious!!

As a matter of fact, that whole team and the freakin’ city of Louisville may need counselin’. But darn sure Lamar Jackson is gonna need it. He’s got 25 TOUCHDOWN’S after 4 weeks bruh playin’ at LOUISVILLE!!! He’s not playin’ at some traditional power like Alabama, Texas, Ohio State, Michigan or Oklahoma where boyz are used to that type of attention! He’s at LOUISVILLE, a basketball school, that’s been turned on it’s ear and is now a football juggernaut for the time bein’. Ole dull motorcycle ridin’ Bobby Petrino’s got these boyz rollin’!

I don’t think you understand what this cat is dealin’ with on a daily basis. He’s on a college campus where he’s supposed to be a normal kid which is everything but normal. This isn’t the NFL where he’s livin’ in a gated community or has 24 hour security downstairs keepin’ the male and female groupies at bay. And yes playa, dudes can be groupies too. You see them all of the time wearin’ another man’s jersey and screamin’ his name when he walks into the bar, club or even across the yard. He stands around ole boy all night and offers to buy him drinks and just wants to tell his friends that he hung out with Lamar Jackson on Thursday night. If you’re that dude you’re a groupie. Real cats will simply give that dun a pound and keep it movin’!

And God forbid he’s still livin’ in the freakin’ dorm. People are knockin’ on his door all night every night just wantin’ to talk to him just to say that they did. He’s gettin’ NO rest from this foolishness and, oh by the way, he’s still expected to go to class and make his grades. Did I mention that the groupies, both male and female, are sittin’ next to him in class tryin’ to get selfies durin’ class? Yeah bruh, get that dun some counselin’ ASAP!!

Bein’ the Big Man On Campus (BMOC) isn’t easy but somebody’s gotta do it.

But back to this weekend! The Cardinals travel down to Death Valley for only the second game in the 74 year history of Memorial Stadium  where 2 Top 5 teams throw down. The first was when Famous Jameis and Co. came in there three years ago and beat the brakes off of Clemson 51-14!! So Lamar and Co. are lookin’ to do the same. It’s gonna be a good one and this is the type of game that’s worth an old school G.I. (Gary, Indiana) jump the gate move. No ticket! No media credential! No problem! Jump the gate and get it in! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk! And no this dun doesn’t need counseling literally! It’s a figure of speech for boyz that get crazy attention from the women. 

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