The Jay Graves Report

Why Jordan is guaranteed to hate on LeBron during All-Star Weekend! “A Nickel to a Dollar”

"I know it's comin' bruh! But that ain't my problem, it's his!"

As I was standing in front of the J.W. Marriott on Canal waiting on the fellas to head over to Bourbon Street these old cats came by arguing about jealousy. B.C. Forbes just kept it 100 by saying, “Jealousy is a mental cancer.” William Penn was feeling some type of way when he said, “The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” Then George Washington said in the middle of hollerin’ at some broads walking by, “It will be found an unjust and unwise jealousy to deprive a man of his natural liberty upon the supposition he may abuse it.”

Well playboy you can bet a nickel to a dollar that because it’s All-Star Weekend Michael Jordan will find it just and wise to be jealous enough to take LeBron’s shine. Like clockwork that dun can’t help himself every time this young boy is shinin’ he’s gonna find a way to steal it. In my Huggy Lowdown voice, “Waaaait for it!”

This ain’t hate playa this is real talk! Within the next twenty four hours ole Mike is gonna come out with something crazy to say about LeBron. How do I know? Because I can smell a hater when he gets up in the morning bruh. I’m like a shark smelling blood in the water literally a mile away.

The best predictor of future behavior is to check a boyz past behavior. Just look at a cat’s M.O.! For all you simple minded individual’s that’s short for the Latin phrase Modus Operandi. Approximately translated, it’s his method of operation playboy. In the hood we say, “That’s how a boy get’s down.”

This time last year everybody was talking about how great LeBron was playing going into the All-Star break. The Heat was either on the huge winning streak or just about to get on it. They were ballin’ and LeBron was on a tear.

Then his Airness or should I say his Haterness jumped out of the birthday cake butt naked and told the young boyz secrets to his game. “If LeBron is going to his right, he’s going to the rack. If he’s going to the left, he’s shooting.” That was the ultimate hater move bruh.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! That’s like being at a magic show and Houdini is sitting in the audience telling boyz what the dun on stage is about to do. Even if it were true a real G would have pulled the young boy to the side and told him that his slip is hangin’ like ole boy told Ray Charles. But not Mike! Why? Because Mike wants to be the greatest forever and doesn’t want anybody to shine but him.

Am I lyin’ to you bruh? Let’s look at last fall as boyz were starting training camp when LeBron told reporters that his goal was to become the greatest basketball player ever. Within twenty four hours Mike pulled up with his butt out again and said that he could beat LeBron in a game of one on one! Why? Because he can’t accept the fact that his career is over and that he can’t add anymore numbers to his stats. So he’s a hater now that this young boy is chippin’ away at him slowly but surely and he doesn’t like it.

Here’s my Jordan fan walking up with a Jump Man 23 warm up on, some Hanes Underwear, that ole dull cologne, some Jordan’s that he just bought but could have gotten out of my boyz closet in ’87 and watching Space Jam on his phone talking crazy. “Jordan ain’t hatin’ on LeBron! He’s the greatest!”

Well if he’s the greatest and he’s secure in that fact then why is he constantly trying to remind boyz that he’s great? Walter Payton once said, “When you’re good at something you tell everyone. When you’re great they tell you.”

This week LeBron said that when he’s done with his career that he should be on the Mount Rushmore of basketball. He was all over the news with the ridiculous dunk off of the wall and then he hit the 3 falling out of bounce against Golden State. So ole boy is on fire coming into the weekend.

However, Jordan is the dun that can’t help himself. He’s gonna take the bait hook line and sinker. He’s the clown trying to pick up the 20 dollar bill that tied to the fishing line. He’s knows it’s a set up but he’s gonna bite anyway. “Hey Mike what are your thoughts about LeBron saying that he should be on the mountain?”

The greatest basketball player known to man would say, “I think he’s got a chance if he continues to play at a high level. All we can do is sit and watch. He’s sure on his way.” But a hater will say, “Well I don’t think he’s even at the base of the mountain yet. You gotta have 6 rings to get there first.”

Knowing full well that he only had 1 ring and 1MVP at the same age as LeBron at the All-Star break and ole boy has 2 rings and 4 MVP’s! But the clown in the Hanes Underwear that’s 35 or younger doesn’t realize that. I’m calling it EARLY on Friday morning that Mike is gonna take the bait and be the hater that I know him to be. Sit in the cut and wait for it. Stop me when I start lyin’!

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!