The Jay Graves Report

Why it’s time for both Pagano and Grigson to bounce! “Hittin’ the Bricks”

"What happened? I don't know what happened! I thought it was you! Well I thought it was you!" Photo: Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Rob Zombie, the film director and screenwriter, once said, “Great things come out of being hungry and cold. Once you’re pampered, you get lazy.” Milan Kundera, the French writer, gave it to us like this, “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” Then Tony Robbins, the author and philanthropist, put it where the goats could get it when he spit, “People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals – that is, goals that do not inspire them.”

Well playas…I don’t know what type of goals the Indianapolis Colts had on Sunday but it wasn’t to make the playoffs this year, I can tell you that. Goin’ into the ball game against the Texans in a three way tie for first place in the AFC South with both Houston and Tennessee, they not only wet the bed 22-17 but they destroyed the mattress in the process.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The Colts ran out of the tunnel and laid down like somebody tasered them at a traffic stop. These duns had everything to play for and they looked like it was the first preseason game of the year. I may as well just up 6 or 7 of the old recaps, copy and paste those joints here.

Can’t run the football! Can’t stop the run! Can’t catch the ball! Can’t throw the ball! Can’t protect the dun with the ball! Can’t! Can’t!! Can’t!!!

It’s ridiculous bruh! Only 83 rush yards!! If I didn’t know any better I’d think that the Colts where allergic to 100 yards rushin’! Every running back and offensive lineman will break out in hives if they get anywhere near 100 yards.

Andrew Luck is so scared of bein’ sacked that he’s so reckless with the ball that it’s ignorant. Two touchdowns, two dull picks and a fumble doesn’t help the old lady across the street bruh.

And will somebody please tell me why they’re still even payin’ Phillip Dorsett? That dun can’t catch a cold butt naked sittin’ on an ice berg in the middle of the ocean in 1912 just before the Titanic hit it. He was targeted 8 times and he only finished the game with 3 dull catches for 19 yards. That’s a first round pick right there and he should be the first to get pushed out of the ride like ole Eddie Kane Jr. too. He’s been a complete waste of money.

Unfortunately, somebody’s gotta go up top playboy. Flip a coin and push one or both of them out of the passenger side door. Either the dun that bought the groceries or the dun that’s cookin’ the groceries or both but somebody’s gotta go. They both survived that foolishness last off season and sang kumbaya but somebody’s hittin’ the bricks this year playa.

Grigson’s done a terrible job of buildin’ the team and Pagano’s done an equally bad job of motivatin’ these cats to show up on Sunday to play. So I think both of them should be on the first thing smokin’ out of here on some real talk. Keepin’ one isn’t goin’ to solve the problem. So pack both of them up to hit the bricks. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!