The Jay Graves Report

Why Ezekiel Elliott can’t afford to get advice from Snoop bruh! “Insulation”

Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the Swedish footballer, once said, “I did many stupid things. I made many mistakes, but I learnt from everything. I still make mistakes; I still learn from them. Nobody is perfect.” Bertrand Russell, the British philosopher, gave it to us like this, “The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.” Gustave Flaubert, the French novelist, put it where the goats could get it when he said, “To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.”  

 Well playas…stupidity definitely isn’t lackin’ when it comes to the Cowboys 1st round draft pick, Ezekiel Elliott. Before this dun has even played a single down in the NFL he’s makin’ headlines that have absolutely nothin’ to do with football. On Thursday before the Boys played the Seahawks in the state of Washington where marijuana is legal. This dun thought that it made good sense to fall off into a weed dispensary just to check out the merchandise. So guess what pimpin’, TMZ was waitin’ for his butt to come out of the joint.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Weed is legal in the state of Washington playboy but it’s still illegal in the NFL. So what sense did it make to visit the weed spot when you can’t smoke the weed? All he did was make the freakin’ news for browsin’!!! And that ain’t good news bruh!! 

I don’t know how many idiots I’ve heard sayin’, “It’s no big deal! He didn’t even buy anything. Why are people trippin’?” Because he’s in a spot that he shouldn’t be in if he’s a professional football player about to play a freakin’ game bruh! It doesn’t matter that he didn’t buy anything! It’s PR that he nor the Cowboys need right now. 

Boyz are killin’ me not understandin’ why it wasn’t a good look for young Zeke. Okay playa, let me break in down for you like a pimp at a playas convention. It’s like a boy that gets caught walkin’ into a  pharmacy browsin’ in the condom section when he doesn’t wear condoms with his wife. Somebody sends the picture to his wife even though he didn’t buy anything. It’s a bad look even browsin’ bruh!! Why? Because you can’t explain your way out of that one.

Why are you in the weed spot if you aren’t tryin’ to smoke weed? Even if you’re tryin’ to smoke it’s illegal for you to smoke based on company policy!! Half of these duns hollerin’ “what’s the big deal?” obviously don’t have jobs or should I say careers. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s a big deal or not bruh! It’s against the rules and you don’t need the bad press!!!

Here’s what boyz are missin’ in all of this foolishness! Zeke still has a domestic violence investigation goin’ on back in Columbus from earlier this summer! So he needs to be flyin’ under the radar anyway. And again, he hasn’t played a freakin’ down of pro ball. STOP IT! He can’t be that clueless or can he be?

And please don’t listen to Snoop Dogg tryin’ to chime in! That dun doesn’t work for a billion dollar corporation. He’s a rapper that can do whatever he wants to do bruh! You can’t listen to people that don’t have rules to follow. Snoop can smoke weed at work!! STOP IT!

No way are you gonna tell me that this dun played 3 years at Ohio State and never got into some foolishness. No way bruh! Not and he’s been in the NFL for a freakin’ summer and we already have two brain farts. What it tells me is that they did a helluva job of insulatin’ this dun from the rest of the world. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it. 

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