The Jay Graves Report

Why EVERYBODY looked good in the Crossroads Classic but Indiana! “A Hot Mess”

"You can have all of that playboy!"

Benny Goodman, the jazz musician, once said, “To this day, I don’t like people walking on stage not looking good. You have to look good. If you feel special about yourself then you’re going to play special.” Jay Graves has ALWAYS said, “If you look good you play good.” Then Camila Olves, the famous model, broke it down like O.G. Bobby Johnson at a retired gangstas convention when she spit, “I think the only time that I worry about looking good is on the red carpet.”

Well playas…the Indiana Hoosiers showed up on the red carpet lookin’ a hot mess on Saturday at the Crossroads Classic in Indianapolis. This is the one and only time of the year that the four premier programs in the state show up to show off their new wears!! Everybody and their baby’s momma is there to see what a boy’z have before the start of conference play. Purdue, Notre Dame, Butler and the Hoosiers are supposed to put on their best “playa” outfits and walk the runway. Everybody hit the joint and knocked it out of the park and IU broke a heal and fell off of the stage into the desserts.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! This was the first time in the Classic’s history that all four teams rolled into town ranked in the Top 25! So boyz were foamin’ at the mouth to see this joint. EVERYBODY’S ranked!!! Aw yeah, it’s gonna be Chris Brown up in this piece! “On and Poppin’!”

Dec 17, 2016; Indianapolis, IN, USA;  Purdue Boilermakers forward Caleb Swanigan (50) dribbles the ball while Notre Dame Fighting Irish forward Bonzie Colson (35) defends in the second half of the game at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. The Purdue Boilermakers beat Notre Dame Fighting Irish 86-81. Mandatory Credit: Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports
Dec 17, 2016; Indianapolis, IN, USA; Purdue Boilermakers forward Caleb Swanigan (50) dribbles the ball while Notre Dame Fighting Irish forward Bonzie Colson (35) defends in the second half of the game at Bankers Life Fieldhouse. The Purdue Boilermakers beat Notre Dame Fighting Irish 86-81. Mandatory Credit: Trevor Ruszkowski-USA TODAY Sports

 

No.15 Purdue and No.21 Notre Dame take the floor in Game 1 and go at it like two chicks in the projects fightin’ over what my grandmother would call, “A sorry tail boy.” Purdue pulls out a win in a thriller 86-81. By the time that joint was over there was hair weave and false eye lashes all over the floor and boyz talkin’ about “When I see you again it’s gonna be on again playboy! Don’t get caught out here by yo self!” It was that type of game bruh! Worth every bit of the ticket price and the parkin’ and the dull chicken fingers and the overpriced beer and the dun sittin’ next to you that wouldn’t shut up.

By this time boyz have stripped down butt naked and foamin’ at the mouth for Round 2 of the Classic because Round 1 was NUTS!!! No.18 Butler comes out in the hot sequence joint killin’ the game and No.8 IU walks out there with ole Uncle LeRoy’s overalls on with a hole in the knee and some Payless shoes. DULL!! The highest ranked team in the buildin’ looked like hot garbage.

From the tip Butler jumped all over the Hoosiers and by half time duns were tryin’ to figure out what they were gettin’ into tonight. Butler had these boyz beggin’ for mercy behind Ms. Johnson’s house takin’ their sneakers and jewelry 42-28. Don’t get fooled by the final score  of 83-78 bruh. Because that score was in no way indicative of the best down the Hoosiers took. IU fell off of the runway head first into the desserts and they still have pie all in their faces.

Yeah, they tried to make a game of it in the second half down the stretch but by that time boyz were on to something else playa. The music was on and the cards were on the table. Who cares that you tried to come back. They had your sneakers and jewelry by then.

It’s a darn shame that they ALWAYS seem to wet the bet on the biggest stage. Sure, they beat Kansas and North Carolina on big stages but they turned around and lost to IPFW and got the brakes beaten off of them in front of Big Momma and all of her church sisters with the big hats in the Classic. So it’s a wash! They’re still the same ole Hoosiers! The same duns that will be an early exit from the NCAA Tournament because they’ve got no heart. Book it! Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) On and Poppin’: noun – song by Chris Brown the R&B singer