The Jay Graves Report

Why duns from Atlanta better remain silent for the next 3 years! “Wet Mattress”

The Atlanta Falcons did exactly what I feared they would do in the Super Bowl bruh! They allowed the moment to get too big and they completely wet the bed in front of more than 133 million people. I told boyz in my preview earlier this week that I would never bet against the Patriots but I would pick against them. So I picked the Falcons to pull off the upset in Super Bowl LI.

I thought that the boyz from the “A” were due at this point because they were comin’ into the joint with the best offense in the NFL, Matty Ice was goin’ nuts on boyz and the defense had finally turned the corner. However, I acknowledged that New England had a system that you couldn’t just discount because they’ve been there before and the stage wasn’t ever goin’ to be too big. But again, I told myself that the dull Falcons were due so I picked them anyway against my better judgement.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! The stage got too big for the Falcons and they made Tom Brady look like he was walkin’ on water. How do you get up 28-3 in the Super Bowl bruh, wet the bed and lose in overtime 34-28? First of all, why is this game even in overtime? Why is this game even close?

The Falcons saw that lead and acted like a dun in a scary movie. They thought the villain was dead, stood next to him and started kissin’ their girlfriend instead of puttin’ 10 more bullets in him and sprintin’ out of the back door.

Yeah playa, they started playin’ not to lose instead of keepin’ their foot on the gas. That’s got to be the most embarrassin’ loss in Super Bowl history! Up 28-3 with a little more than 6 minutes left in the third quarter? Boyz started thinkin’ about the set at Magic City on Monday night and forgot all about the fact that they had to play the fourth quarter. They forgot that a dun in UGG boots was waitin’ on the other side of the field and he wasn’t about to go out like a sucka!!

With that bein’ said, the Falcons ended up goin’ out like some REAL suckas!! I don’t wanna hear a peep out of anybody with a 404 or a 678 area code for the next 3 years! Why? Because they ruined the mattress on international television so bad that Big Momma couldn’t even turn the joint over.

Put it like this playa, I’ve got more respect for the duns that didn’t make it to the Super Bowl than the dun that gets there, goes up 28-3 and squats in the middle of the bed and gives the joint away. And that’s the edited version. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

 The caption under the photo isn’t real but it’s REAL talk!