The Jay Graves Report

Why diehard Jordan fans can’t EVER sit on a jury trial to determine who the G.O.A.T. is! “Orange Juice”

Michael JORDAN - NBA Basket - Chicago Bulls action dribble hauteur saison 1996 - 1997 basket

A.P. J. Abdul Kalam, the former president of India, once said, “My view is that at a younger age your optimism is more and you have more imagination etc. You have less bias.” Noreena Hertz, the best-selling author, gave it to us like this, “All of us show bias when it comes to what information we take in. We typically focus on anything that agrees with the outcome we want.” Then Martha Beck, the famous sociologist, poured out a lil’ liquor for all of the dead homies when she spit, “My point is that perceptual bias can affect nut jobs and scientists alike. If we hold too rigidly to what we think we know, we ignore or avoid evidence of anything that might change our mind.”

Well playas…now that the NBA season is over and in the books and we’ve argued all season about who the best players and teams are and how they stack up in NBA history. It’s absolutely crazy to me how boyz will completely ignore or avoid evidence of anything that might change their minds because of certain biases they have for certain players i.e. Michael Jeffery Jordan. It’s virtually impossible to compare best players with Jordan fans.

It doesn’t matter what information you present or who you try to compare him to. That dun is gonna reject whatever evidence you put on the table to refute the lie that boyz have been tellin’ about him for 31 years. Bomb shell to Jordan fans, Mike didn’t do EVERYTHING on the floor bruh! He never had to nor could he. So stop actin’ like this dun was immortal.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! If boyz were really tryin’ to determine who the best all-around player of all-time was based on nothin’ but the facts and statistics they’d have to have a jury trial. And guess what playa, diehard Jordan fans would be excused durin’ the jury selection process every time because they would be considered potential bad jurors.

There would be cats sittin’ outside pissed because the lawyers have kicked them out of the court room durin’ the jury selection process for not bein’ open minded enough to make good rational decisions.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re comparin’ him to Magic, Big O, Kobe, Bird, LeBron, Bill Russell or Kareem. They’ll tell you that Mike did it all.

What happens when you show up for jury duty? They have boyz fill out a questionnaire as soon as they get to the joint. They ask a million questions about how you fill about whatever the relevant subject is. Then they start eliminatin’ duns based off of their responses to those questions. If it’s a domestic violence trial and you’ve been exposed to domestic abuse and you tell a boy that you have you’re gone. Why? Because you can’t be impartial. If it’s a murder trial and you’ve lost a friend or family member to murder you’re gone. Why? Because you can’t be fair and impartial because you’ve got a bias in that situation.

It’s even crazier dealin’ with diehard Jordan fans bruh! As soon as they would walk into the court room even before they fill out the questionnaire the lawyers would be kickin’ boyz out. First of all, 99.999 percent of those duns are gonna walk in with a pair of Jordan’s, a Bulls hat, some Hanes Underwear on and a Space Jam VHS tape hangin’ out of their pocket.

Can you imagine a boy showin’ up to the Michael Jackson child molestation trial with a red “Beat It” jacket on, some floods and penny loafers rockin’ a glittered glove? They wouldn’t let that fool get through security. Can you imagine a boy showin’ up for jury duty at the O.J. trial drivin’ a Hertz rental car, drinkin’ Orange Juice and wearin’ a Buffalo Bills No.32 jersey? Hold on a second dawg, can you imagine a boy showin’ up to the Charles Manson murder trial with a freakin’ swastika tattooed on his forehead? You already know that their wrestlin’ that fool to the ground and haulin’ him out of the joint quick, fast and in a hurry.

So why on earth would you talk history of the game and best players with a dun dressed full out in Jordan gear and expect to get an unbiased opinion from him? It’s virtually impossible to have a rational conversation with a boy wearin’ a pair of retro Jordan’s and he’s got every pair that’s ever come out. In that dun’s mind Jordan never missed a free throw or a shot, he never got beat, he never got abused on the floor, he never struggled in any game in his life, played every playoff game by himself with the flu, played all 5 positions without a coach, drove the freakin’ team bus and flew the plane all while puttin’ up a triple double every time he put his shoes on.

A boy will argue with you that it’s ALL ABOUT CHAMPIONSHIPS but never acknowledge the fact that there are 12 people in the history of the league with as many or more championships as Jordan. There are 9 cats with more championships than he has! However, in their minds everything stops at 6 rings like Pippen, Kareem and Bob Cousey don’t all have just as many. The fact that they’re sittin’ there with a Bulls hat, some Jordan’s and some Space Jam goggles on won’t allow them to see Bill Russell’s 11, Sam Jones’ 10, John Havlicek’s 8, Tom Heinsohn’s 8, K.C. Jones’ 8, Tom “Satch” Sanders’ 8, Robert Horry’s 7, James Loscutoff’s 7and Frank Ramsey’s 7. That’s if it’s all about championship playa.

That’s the reason why they have a selection process when pickin’ a jury so that you don’t get folks on the joint that can’t think straight because of their personal biases. So any time you’re about to talk basketball and best players in the history of the NBA with a boy and he’s got on all Jordan everything walk away. Because as soon as that dun starts foamin’ at the mouth he’ll tell you that Jordan is the leader in every statistical category known to man. Not only is he the leader in points per game but he’s the leader in rebounds, assists, minutes played, games won, last second shots taken and made and championships. It’s like talkin’ to a Portuguese rock with Ugg boots on. You’re like, “What?” Exactly! Save yourself the time and headache bruh because that dun is gone bruh!  And stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:




1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, girl, etc. It whoever I’m talkin’ about.