The Jay Graves Report

Why Andrew Luck is about to start snappin’ on boyz! “Scarred for Life”

"Look man! I ain't playin' with y'all no more!"

Edward Weston, the well-known photographer, once said, “I see no reason for recording the obvious.” Confucius broke it down like this, “When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” Then Arthur Conan Doyle, the Irish-Scottish writer, put it where the goats can get it when he spit, “There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.”

Well playas…the fact is the entire front office of the Colts startin’ with Jim Irsay down doesn’t have a freakin’ clue. On Sunday they looked like they had their brains sucked out of their heads and were literally walkin’ around like zombies in a 30-14 loss to Kansas City.

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Everybody and their baby’s momma’s momma, Ms. Jackson, wants to keep blamin’ Andrew Luck for makin’ mistakes under center. All you hear from duns is “Andrew Luck sucks! Or Andrew Luck needs to get it together!” THE DUN IS SCARED TO DEATH OUT THERE BRUH!!! He got sacked 6 times on Sunday!!! He’s been sacked 31 times in the first 8 games!! That means that he’s on pace to be sacked 62 times in a single season!! STOP IT!!!

He can’t make good decisions with the ball in his hands if he’s runnin’ for his freakin’ life every time he snaps the ball. To put this foolishness into perspective accordin’ to my man Mike Chappell’s tweet from Fox59/CBS4, Peyton Manning was sacked 31 times TOTAL in 2003-04, ’05-’06. But you’re expectin’ Andrew Luck to run around this piece and make plays when he can’t even stand up right?

Do you realize that every time he’s sacked it’s like bein’ in a car accident? But you want him to shake that joint off and keep ballin’ like he’s immortal.

Think about this playa, Sunday was only like the second time in 54 games that the Colts have rushed for more than 100 yards and Andrew Luck had 60 of them on 9 carries. He wasn’t even tryin’ to run the ball bruh! He’s runnin’ for his life!!! He’s got no protection and everybody wants him to be able to make plays because he signed a $140 million contract.

Would you buy a Bugatti and park it in the projects with the keys sittin’ on the seats? Well, that’s essentially what you’re doin’ with Andrew Luck. So when the car gets stolen you can’t blame the car for comin’ up missin’!

Then the defense is absolutely atrocious from top to bottom. The offensive line stinks and the receivers dropped everything thrown their way. Who’s fault is all of this? The dun that built the kitchen. The dun buyin’ the groceries and to some degree the dun cookin’ the meals on Sundays. They all are to blame for this foolishness. However, Jim Irsay made the decision to keep both of these cats and he signed off on the freakin’ roster.

I heard some cats on TV sayin’ that they just don’t have the players to get it done. Well tell me something that I don’t know bruh. If they don’t have the players then it’s on the dun doin’ the shoppin’ more than it’s on the cat that’s cookin’. In his previous 4 seasons with the Colts Pagano has had three 11 win seasons and an 8-8 joint. So he hasn’t just all of a sudden forgotten how to coach . He’s just gotta have something TO coach. But unfortunately, he’s gonna take the hit for this foolishness and Andrew Luck is goin’ to be scarred for life foolin’ around with these boyz.

He was extremely professional in the way that he handled the media on Sunday but you can tell that he did everything in his power to keep from snappin’ and callin’ boyz out! But if he was usin’ his inside ghetto voice, “Ain’t gone be too many more of them sacks! I’m just sayin’ bruh! Two or three more and I’m goin’ all the way off!”  Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Spit: verb – to say

2) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

3) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its REAL talk!