The Jay Graves Report

UCLA’s Sunglasses 3 headed back to the States! “Hold Big Momma Back”

Accordin’ to my mans and nem, the three UCLA players, LiAngelo Ball, Cody Riley and Jalen Hill, that were accused of shopliftin’ and detained in China have now been released and are flyin’ back to LAX as you’re readin’ this foolishness. Boyz were seen checkin’ into a Los Angeles-bound Delta flight at Shanghai’s Pudong International Airport. They should be arrivin’ in Los Angeles at around 5pm local time.

On Wednesday there will be a news conference with all three players, coach Steve Alford, athletic director Dan Guerrero and Big Momma.

Bruh…you already know she can’t wait for those duns to walk off of that flight. Can you imagine the stress they’ve put on their parents and grandparents with this foolishness?

I’m not sure if they wanna even get off of the plane knowin’ what’s the other side of that door!!! My ole man would have been standin’ out on the tarmac Butt naked with a pair of Stacey Adams knobs on waitin’ on the joint to land. Do you hear me? And Big Momma would have her belt in her hand tappin’ her house shoes with that dull house coat on!!

Let’s keep it real or all the way 100, whichever comes 1st! Jay Graves would stop by the police station before headin’ to the airport to pick his dun up. “Hey bruh, tell me how much my bail is goin’ to be before this foolishness pops off over at LAX? What is trespassin’ brakin’ and enterin’ and all out assault in the middle of the day on the runway goin’ to cost me? Well…here is the down payment and a boy will get you the rest when my wife gets off work.

Now she’s goin’ take over for me at that point and I’ll pay her bail too. We both would be standin’ in front of a judge after the beat down we would be handin’ out.

Think about it bruh, you send a dun off to college on full scholarship to shoot hoop at one of the biggest college programs in the country and he ends up in an international news headline for stealin’! What!!?

That dun wouldn’t play a lick of basketball this year with my last name. Do you hear me? He’d at least be suspended until the beginnin’ of the year and that would be just my punishment for him. I don’t care what Alford or UCLA had to say about it.

I just hope that their parents aren’t as crazy as I am. Stop me when I start lyin’!

Playas Thesaurus:

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

2) Put it where the goats can get it: verb phrase – to make it as elementary as possible. To put it at ground level so everyone can understand it.

The G is excluded from the endings of all words because the G is near and dear to my heart because I’m from “The G” which is Gary, Indiana. So I only use the G when I’m talkin’ about “The G!”

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!

 

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