The Jay Graves Report

Top 10 Real Playa Ground Rules for Fillin’ out your Brackets! “No Exceptions”

"Let's get it in playas!"

The brackets have been released and March Madness is OFFICIALLY here. The greatest two weeks in sports are upon us. Regardless of whether you agree with me or not, it’s a good time bruh. Folks all over the country will be unproductive at home and at work and it is what it is.  Villanova, North Carolina, Kansas and Gonzaga are the No.1 seeds with the defendin’ national champ at the overall No.1 seed. So it’s about to get in my Bernie Mac voice, “bucket naked!!!”

Before I cut you duns loose on fillin’ out your brackets. I’ve got to lay out the “Top 10 Real Playa Ground Rules” for the next couple of weeks.

Here we go bruh: 

1. You can only fill out one bracket!

I hate when people show up to work with 10 brackets filled out and look to win the office pool. That’s shady and you know it. When the tournament is over this person gallivants around like they really knew somethin’ about college basketball. Sorry excuse for a sports fan!!! You should be ashamed of yourself.

2. Don’t fill out your kid’s bracket! If he or she can’t talk or walk they can’t participate. That’s final. I get tired of losin’ to some kid that’s 13 months old still wettin’ the freakin’ bed.

3. Don’t pick the freakin’ teams based on the uniforms! If you haven’t watched the games to this point just say that you don’t know and bow out gracefully.

4. Don’t try to change your bracket once your Final Four teams lose! I get tired of the dun that picks a certain team to make it to the Final Four and then on Friday of the first darn weekend he’s got somebody else on his bracket because they didn’t make it out of the first round.

5. Don’t show up to the sports bar on Thursday talkin’ trash or wearin’ your team logo if your school isn’t even in the tournament. You’re on punishment and anybody affiliated with your school is too for cryin’ out loud!! If your school sucks then you have to stay at home. That includes all IU fans. The NIT doesn’t count. If your school isn’t in the NCAA Tournament I don’t wanna see you in the sports bar rockin’ candy stripes.

6. Don’t install that stupid software with the fake graphs on it to try to fool your boss when he walks past your computer. He knows that you’re watchin’ the games because he’s watchin’ them too. Just keep it real, order pizza and go to the conference room and watch it together.

7. Don’t get on Facebook or Twitter lyin’ about bein’ at the games when you’re at work. Who cares?

8. If you win the bracket challenge and get the travelin’ trophy don’t try to keep the stupid thing! Return it next year and I mean it!!

9. Don’t call in sick this Thursday and Friday because you’ll look stupid bruh! Trust me bruh every knows that your watchin’ the games.

10. Finally, don’t spend the next twenty four hours askin’ folks who’s your Final Foul teams so you can pick yours because you don’t have a clue. This is an independent project and you’ve got until Tuesday mid-day to make your final selections. No cheatin’!

Now let’s get out there and have some fun!!

Playas Thesaurus: 

1) Dun: noun – the person in question, dude, guy, etc. It’s whoever I’m talkin’ about and its non-gender specific.

The caption under the photo isn’t real but its real talk!